Sorry I Couldn't be Better
by Toph Hitsugaya
Summary: Honestly, Maka isn't sure why her parents even love her any more. All she ever does is disappoint them. But the way she chooses to solve her problem winds her up in a hospital for troubled teenagers. Mental hospital AU. Parings not decided yet. Trigger warnings.
1. How it all Began

**Sorry I couldn't be better**

**So I've been dealing with self-harm which by the way is not the solution. Man am I a hypocrite. Anyway, this story is for people out there like me. It can get better. I'm learning that. **

**Summary: Honestly, Maka isn't sure why her parents even love her any more. All she ever does is disappoint them. But the way she chooses to solve her problem winds her up in a hospital for troubled teenagers. Mental hospital AU. Parings not decided yet. Trigger warnings. **

Honestly, Maka was surprised it took her until she was fifteen to turn to suicide. Looking back at her life as she stood atop a building, it was one big gloomy hole of depression and sadness. Her parents all but ignored her. It was almost as if the 3 family members lived separate lives. Her dad was a notorious flirt who had some day job at an office and was rarely at home at night. Her mum was a dentist and was often called in as she belonged to an 'Emergency Dental Clinic.' Maka was simply the child who cooked for herself, cleaned the house and even forged signatures on notes because her parents were always 'busy'.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd been acknowledged apart from her birthday a few months ago where she'd received a book voucher and a trip to the aquarium. It was the best day in her entire life but the joy didn't last as she woke the next morning to an empty house.

She walked herself to the bookstore that day and went home with nothing. She didn't want to read a book about a perfect girl with a perfect life and a perfect family. Those authors obviously didn't know what real life was. They obviously went around in some magical daze, laughing about butterflies and candy and unicorns.

Maka jolted back to the real world where she was moments away from ending her miserable excuse for a life. She took a step forward, taking her time despite the lack of regret she felt. She teetered on the edge and then fell forward into blackness.

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The next thing she knew, she was waking up in a hospital, sandwiched between crisp white sheets and being asked by a crazy looking man why she did it.

Why did she do it? The question was why didn't she do it sooner. What was the point of living in a world where you were invisible and no one noticed you? Wouldn't it be easier to fade from existence and save people the trouble of bothering with you?

The man hadn't even battered an eyebrow at her silence, instead he was scribbling down notes on his stupid sheets that were probably full of his theories on her. What was she? A science experiment? Another kid who has to be 'saved?' Couldn't they see it was just a waste of time? She didn't want to be saved. If she did, she would have called one of those kids support lines or something. Or emailed the school counsellor.

"I'm Dr Stein," The man broke Maka out of her depressing thoughts. "I'm one of the head doctors at DWMA Mental Hospital. No one's quite sure what the DWMA stands for; I think the people who started the place thought it looked cool." He attempted to smile at Maka and she shivered, unnerved by the creepy scars and the weird bolt hair accessory he sported.

"So," Maka finally said, unsure of why a doctor at a mental institution was talking to her. She wasn't crazy.

"Well after talking to your parents, we've gotten permission to take you on-board so to speak."

"Eh?"

Stein laughed at her look of confusion, reaching out to adjust a lone flower on her bedside table.

"It means you'll be coming to stay at the hospital for a while. Until we're sure you won't attempt to…let's just say we're going to help you Maka." Stein finished his sentence albeit awkwardly and hurriedly scribbled down some more random notes. Maka suspected he was just doodling to cover up his awkwardness.

"I don't need help," She managed to get out, determined to make the man leave. "It won't solve anything. Things will still be he- hard for me."

Stein raised an eyebrow at this remark and scribbled down _more _notes. What was so fascinating about Maka? She shifted uncomfortably in the bed as he fixed her with an amused look as if to say 'you're in denial sweetie.'

"That's what they all say." Stein made no attempt to hide the amusement that was in his voice as well as plastered all over his face. "But you're parents agreed Maka so you're being admitted whether you like it or not."

Maka attempted to fold her arms though the slim cast on her left wrist made it hard so she settled for shooting a death glare at Stein to try and change his mind.

Stein's mouth stretched into the creepiest smile Maka had ever seen at her rather pathetic try to escape becoming a patient.

"Sorry Maka, we've already taken your records, set you up in a room and chosen your private counsellor." Stein was looking all too happy as he relayed the information. "Looks like once you're well enough to leave the ordinary hospital, you're coming to DWMA."

Stein left at this, leaving Maka alone in her private hospital room with no company but the slightly wilted daffodil that had strangely appeared with no one telling her who'd sent it.

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Apparently the reason Maka had survived was because she was so relaxed, she wasn't tense so she survived the fall with no serious life impacting injuries. She had however, earned herself a broken wrist, several cracked ribs, severe concussion and a number of lacerations on her skin. The building she'd jumped off hadn't actually been that high either. Just the roof of her one story house.

Honestly, looking back at it now, Maka had been a bit silly with her choice. It obviously had made the difference between passing on and being sent to some loony bin. And now she was slumped in some official car being driven across town to her residence. Her parents had come to see her a few times in hospital though both denied giving her the daffodil which she had taken with her, the vase clutched to her chest as she started listlessly out the car window.

The driver was silent and if Maka couldn't see him, she would have sworn a ghost was driving her around. The car slowed down abruptly and pulled into a cluttered car park, narrowly missing a cute little Vespa. The driver pulled the key out the ignition and waited patiently for Maka to clamber awkwardly out of the car and move around to the boot which opened suddenly to reveal Maka's meagre belongings.

She pulled her bags out the car and shut the boot. The moment metal met metal; the car pulled away and vanished leaving Maka standing in the car park. She swallowed nervously and turned to look up at the tall modern building.

**Please review xxx **


	2. Welcome to DWMA

**Sorry I couldn't be Better- Welcome to DWMA**

**I have researched each person's condition BTW, I haven't made these up. **

**So I went and saw the premiere of The Fault in Our Stars today (the premier in my city) so I was crying and then halfway through the film I thought about the death of a character from Naruto (who isn't Naruto but does start with an N) and started crying even harder. **

**Thanks t (special thanks for your support) to TheCrayCrayGirl (love the user name!) to videosrockyolo (hopefully this is long enough) to Mermain123 and silent infinity (thanks to you both for supporting this fic.) **

**Disclaimer: Oh how once upon a summers dream thou girl dreamed of Eating Souls alas the dream was fleeting…and false **

Maka stared up at the building before her, shivering slightly at how quiet it was. All she could hear was the occasional car driving by in the background. No sounds seemed to be coming from the eerie hospital. It appeared to be devoid of life. She was used to silence having experienced that constantly at home but pairing the silence with a creepy building was enough to give anyone the creeps. She took a hesitant step forward before halting as the front doors slid open to reveal a dreadlocked man who started walking towards her. He seemed relaxed and his face was fixed in a neutral position. He wasn't what Maka had expected (than again, nothing was turning out how she had expected) and she wasn't sure what his role was in the hospital. Maybe he was a patient who thought he was a doctor. That wouldn't have surprised.

"Hello," The man said once he was sure Maka could hear him from the distance he was away from her. "I'm Sid, one of the therapists here as well as a member of security. You must be Maka right?"

Maka nodded shyly, relieved to know his identity (a crazy patient wouldn't know her name) and stooped to pick up her bags which she'd dropped at her side upon seeing the door open. Her flower was inside her backpack, safely tucked away. The man was suddenly there next to her, picking her gabs up before she could get a hand around them.

"I've heard you've just come from a medical hospital so we don't want you to do strenuous lifting." Sid explained as he carried the bags with ease. "We don't want you injured on your first day." This explanation as to why he'd taken her bags from her helped Maka to find her voice.

"They're not very heavy and I'm not weak." She tried to snap but it came out as a weak protest. Sid kept walking despite this and soon they were at the door, about to enter the tall white building. Sid stepped right through them the moment they slid open but Maka paused, reluctant to surrender herself to the hospital. She wanted to be free for just one more minute but Sid beckoned her so she took a breath and stepped over the threshold.

What hit her first was the fresh flowery smell that one associates with air fresheners. Slightly artificial but pleasant. It was cold inside the reception and Maka shivered, glancing over at the air-conditioner to notice it was set on the highest level. A nurse sat behind a desk, smiling slightly as she read whatever she had up on her computer screen. Her nose twitched occasionally, a characteristic you'd associate with a mouse.

"This is Mizune," Sid introduced Maka to the woman. "You won't see her much. This is just her day job and she never leaves this desk."

Maka's face remained blank as Mizune giggled in an annoyingly high pitch and waved coyly. This didn't faze the nurse/receptionist and she continued to laugh away at her screen. Sid shrugged helplessly and led Maka to an elevator.

"We have floors for age groups," Sid explained. "Bottom floor is for day patients. People who come in for day therapy sessions and aren't in a serious enough condition to be admitted."

"Why can't I do them?" Maka asked, interrupting the man. "I'm not sick."

"Sorry Maka. Doctor Stein diagnosed you and decided you needed to be admitted. He's the head doctor. I trust his judgement and we can't go back on it now." Sid didn't sound very apologetic as he said this. "Anyway first floor is three to seven year olds. We don't get many of them which is why there are quite a few age groups on that floor. Second floor is eight to ten. Again, less people but not as small a group as the three to seven year old group. Then third floor is ten to thirteen and the fourth floor where we are going is fourteen to sixteen. Floor five is seventeen to nineteen. Then people are moved to the adult hospital, our partner. Obviously, you'll stay on the fourth floor."

"Whatever," Maka mumbled, watching the little arrows on the elevator light up until the elevator slowed to a stop at floor four. There was a dinging sound and the doors opened. Maka was facing a light purple painted corridor with a few doors embedded in it. Standing there, right in front of the elevator was a friendly looking woman with an eye patch concealing one of her eyes. She smiled brightly at Maka who in return averted her gaze.

Sid and Maka stepped out of the elevator and the doors slid shut behind them, leaving Maka trapped between the walls and the 2 adults.

"This is Marie, Maka." Sid introduced the woman to the teen. "She's one of our therapists and she's going to be one of yours. You'll alternate between her and Azusa. They both believed you needed two therapists with two different approaches to treatment." Maka rolled her eyes at this.

"It's nice to meet you Maka." Marie beamed, bending down to Maka's levels so she could look her in the eyes. Maka stared determinedly over her shoulder, ignoring the subtle offering of friendship. Marie didn't even bat an eyelid; she just straightened up and gestured vaguely down the right corridor.

"Is her room that way?" Sid questioned.

"Yup," Marie's smiled never slipped. "She's on her own because Tsubaki was nervous about having a roommate and there was no way she was rooming with any of the boys."

Maka was relieved at this though she tried not the show it. Marie picked up on her relief though, smiling brightly at Maka.

"Well some of the boys can be a bit overwhelming. Especially BlackStar." Marie explained. "And don't worry about how I knew you were relieved. Call it a therapist's intuition."

Maka scowled at her and snatched her bags from Sid abruptly, just wanting to be left alone in her room.

"Come on then." She snapped. Sid sighed and left the small group rather abruptly leaving Marie to show Maka to her room.

"That wasn't very nice Maka." Marie commented as they passed some doors labelled staff only, some without any labels and one door with the names 'Pot' and 'Fire', each name outlined by their namesake.

"They're 2 of our residents," Marie explained, noticing yet again Maka's hidden interest. "They're actually younger, only 10 but they have selective mutism and the only other person they talk to apart from each other is one of our other floor residents, Kilik. In an attempt to aid with treatment, we moved them to this floor. If they show signs of improvement, they'll go down a level."

Maka wasn't sure how to respond to this since she'd been trying to hide her curiosity so she just shrugged in reply and kept walking. Marie stopped suddenly but Maka kept walking, not realising she was continuing on by herself. She stopped after noticing the lack of footsteps and saw Marie standing a few metres back, amusement twinkling in her eyes. Maka looked at the door she'd stopped by which had the name Tsubaki plastered on it with a few flowers on stems spiralling out of the name. Obviously this wasn't her room. She could hear faint music coming from inside showing this 'Tsubaki' was in the room. That or she left her music playing all the time for some reason.

Maka clomped back to Marie who was standing by another door, this one blank holding out a key as if to say 'It's your room, you unlock it.' Maka took the key reluctantly and pushed it into the key hole after a moment's hesitation.

"Obviously we'll take the key so you can't lock the door. We need access to your room at all times since you…well because of your condition." Marie babbled as Maka pushed the door open to reveal a relatively small room though bigger than her room at home. There was an open wardrobe with a rack at the top with a few coat hangers. There were no doors for the wardrobe (probably to stop kids hiding in them) with a few draws at the bottom of it for folded clothes. There was a smallish bedside table residing next to a plain single bed and running a fairway above the bed was a floating shelf wide enough to hold a few various objects.

"So this is your home for now," Marie stepped into the room to stand beside Maka and plucked the key from her hand, tucking it away. "Make yourself comfortable. If you want to decorate the walls, let us know and you can print pictures off one of our computers. Though you might have brought your own things to stick up. A lot of people do that when they come here. You could even paint the walls but I get the feeling you don't want to stay here too long."

Maka shrugged, refusing to engage in conversation and set her bags on the bed, looking around the room for a hidden door or something leading to a private bathroom. She must have missed something. Where was she supposed to wash herself? Did they expect her to find another way to stay clean? Wet wipes? A wet sponge?

"We all share one big bathroom…well the girls and the boys are separate of course and you have a set time for when you can shower. We don't want any accidents happening without our knowledge." Marie applied her super special therapist powers again.

"Great," Maka said sarcastically. Marie laughed a little and headed for the door, turning to stand in the doorway. "Well give you a schedule tomorrow but for now, just come down to lunch when the bell rings and we'll see where we go from there. Hopefully, Tsubaki might decide to show you if she's feeling up to it. If not, I'm sure someone can show you the way. We usually have some nurses walking around."

Maka shrugged _again_ because she wasn't sure how to reply yet again and sat on the bed next to her bags, the mattress dipping slightly under her weight. She would unpack once Marie had left. She wasn't quite ready (ok she wasn't ready at all) to flash her personal belongings around in a strangers face.

The therapist lingered for a moment before flashing another smile and disappearing in a whirl of black and yellow silk. Maka listened to her footsteps fade and lay back on her bed, happy to be alone for the first time since entering DWMA. She didn't move for a bit but eventually she sat back up and unzipped her few bags. She had packed them herself at the hospital but now as she looked over the belongings, there were some certain items missing.

Her razors were gone along with metal jewellery and scarfs and ties. The glass vase her precious flower had rested in was replaced with a weird plastic one. Obviously they'd taken anything she could hurt herself with. Maka groaned and began to neatly unpack her belongings into the wardrobe. She refolded small skirts and neat tight sweaters that made up her idea of fashion. Once all her clothes and other objects such as a comb and hair ties were placed systematically in the wardrobe, she turned her attention to more personal objects.

Maka stopped suddenly as she looked into her bags. Why was she even bothering? She just needed to get out this place. She wanted to leave. She wanted to die. Then again, the quicker she convinced them she was better, the quicker she could get out of this horrible place and get back on with her goal. So all she had to do was convince them she was better. That shouldn't be too hard. It wasn't like they could read her mind. And if she played this correctly, she could be home in a week!

Maka set her daffodil on her bedside table once she'd decided to pretend to be getting better. She hadn't been able to find out who had given it to her but she was strangely connected to it…if one could be connected to a flower. Just as she was pulling out her next personal object, a framed photo of her on her fifteenth birthday, a loud bell rang and a shy face peered around her doorway, smiling slightly.

"H-hello,"

**Please review. I hope it's long enough!**


	3. Meet the Girls

**Sorry I couldn't be better- Meet the Girls **

**Thanks t (glad you're liking the story) Sabrina bina (thanks and love the profile pic) S1T2A3R4, deadrose97, One Is Vexed, Puella Pulchra (don't suppose you've read Roman Mysteries?) and F' H. Celeste. Thanks for your support!**

**Blegh, the school counsellor is so awkward to be around…**

**Disclaimer: I have no ideas for a disclaimer…I don't own Soul Eater **

Maka stared in astonishment at the shy looking face staring at her with blatant curiosity. What she could see of the girl showed blue eyes and black bangs that fell about the roundish face in a casual way like she hadn't bothered to brush them. The girl was blushing and she seemed to be shaking from either fear or excitement. Maka was guessing fear.

"H-hello," The girl stammered again nervously as if she wasn't sure Maka would respond to her first greeting. "I'm T-Tsubaki." The head moved and soon Maka was seeing the whole body of the girl. Tsubaki's hair was fashioned into a long ponytail that reached to her waist and she wore a simple cream dress paired with bulky boots and thick arm warmers. She was twisting and turning her fingers as if nervous for reasons Maka didn't know.

"Uh hello," Maka said tentatively, scared the girl would faint if she addressed her. However, Tsubaki straightened up a bit and smiled happily.

"You must be M-Maka." The stammer was barely there now. ""It's nice to meet you."

"Yeah I'm Maka," Maka confirmed the sort of barely there question. "Nice to meet you too… I guess."

Tsubaki giggled slightly before looking down again, biting her lip and seeming to physically shrink.

"S-sorry," She whispered. "I s-shouldn't laugh."

"Eh?" Maka tilted her head, slightly annoyed at the fact Tsubaki switched between two personalities.

"Um n-never mind," Tsubaki said in a rush, forcing a smile. "We gotta g-go or we'll be late for lunch and the nurses will be u-upset that they have t-to come find us."

Maka got up off the bed and walked over to stand next to Tsubaki who immediately shied away from her. Maka frowned at the behaviour before remembering that she was in a mental hospital for kids. Of course the kids would have issues otherwise they wouldn't be there.

Tsubaki led Maka along the corridor, turning corners occasionally before the two girls walked into a large room with a serving table/buffet running along one side and tables scattered randomly here and there. The hall wasn't overly crowded, there were about 16 people who seemed to be patients either seated at the tables or collecting food from the buffet. There were some nurses/wards here and there keeping watch over the teens. Tsubaki walked over to grab some food, choosing plain pasta with what looked like tuna in it. Maka hesitated as the staff behind the buffet stared at her curiously but eventually, she selected some chicken pieces and an apple, not really hungry but knowing she had to eat something. The nurses were staring at her, not making any attempts to hide their fascination with the Maka. The teen wanted to sink through a hole in the floor. She wasn't used to attention never having gotten it at home and now that she was subject to it, she felt awkward and embarrassed.

Tsubaki was waiting for her and pointed to a table in the far corner of the room next to a window overlooking the car park Maka had been standing in about an hour before.

"That's where me and my f-friends sit." She explained. Maka saw 2 people already sitting there, blonde girls who were picking at their food and conversing loudly.

"Is it just them?" Maka asked bravely as she followed Tsubaki over to the table. The shy girl shook her head.

"Sometimes Kid and Soul sit with us. And BlackStar. But Kid's still with one of his therapists right now and Soul and BlackStar a-appear to have chosen to sit alone today."

Maka looked over to where she was gesturing with her head to see 2 boys at a small table. Each sported impressive hair, one a shade of white and the other electrifying blue. Both hairdos stood up straight in spiky locks.

"Who's who?" She questioned, curious despite her anger at even being in the hospital in the first place.

"The one with blue hair is B-BlackStar," Tsubaki tipped her head in his direction. "So Mr White Hair is S-Soul."

Maka nodded, taking in Soul's baggy jacket and BlackStar's tattoos. She wandered why they were in the hospital but she wasn't in a rush to ask them even if they were Tsubaki's friends. Instead she kept following Tsubaki until both arrived at the table and sat down, Maka immediately trying to avoid eye contact with the 2 girls already seated there.

The younger looking one was playing with her spoon, flipping the plastic utensil into the air by using a dollop of mashed potatoes to rest it against before tapping sharply at the end to send it flying. Her blonde hair was cut into a messy bob and she was wearing a red shirt and jeans. The elder was looking around nervously and fixed Maka with a suspicious look as she sat down. The girl jumped as the eating hall's door burst open and grabbed onto the younger girls arm as she did. The elder had longer hair in a neater style and her clothes consisted of a leather jacket and jeans that matched the other girls.

"This is Liz and P-Patty," Tsubaki introduced Maka to her friends. "Patty is the y-younger one and Liz is the older. They're a-also sisters."

Maka gave a half-hearted wave to the sisters before turning her attention to her food, not bothering to see if the two replied to her wave in any way. As she nibbled on her chicken, she peered at the people sitting around her whilst hiding behind her fringe as to avoid attention.

Patty seemed very enthusiastic and bright though her mood seemed to change easily. One moment she was happily flipping her spoon around, the next she was screaming profanities at a boy with glasses who demanded all bow before his superiority. A nurse whose dreadlocks matched Sid's stepped forward to calm her down. All of this took place in about five minutes.

Liz seemed to be very aware of her surroundings, she just couldn't seem to relax and she was very suspicious of Maka, shooting her glares constantly. She had spoken a few words to Tsubaki but apart from that, she'd nervously eaten her food, keeping watch as if someone might take it. She was even startled by Patty tapping her on the shoulder.

Tsubaki seemed nervous like Liz but in a more…subtle way and more scared than on edge. She was startled by loud noises and seemed to panic when it seemed someone was going to approach the table.

It was Liz who finally addressed Maka as if needing to know why the girl was sitting with them.

"So why are you in here?" The teen questioned in a strong voice, her voice oozing with curiosity and suspicion.

"Um," Maka hesitated, unsure of what to say and if she even wanted to say anything. "I...do I have to say?"

"So you're like some sort of crook?" Liz immediately latched onto Maka's hesitation to speak. "You've tricked your way into her and now you're going to kill me. Or Patty. Or both of us! Or Kid and Tsubaki!"

Maka was taken aback by this onslaught of accusations and just shook her head helplessly. Liz just kept glaring at her, tense as if ready to run.

"Sis I'm sure that's not why she's here." Patty was now kind and comforting. "She's in here because she's sick in the head like us."

"Oh thanks Patty."

"Well it's true dumby!" Now Patty was defensive and indignant, ready to jump onto her sister if she insulted her.

"I'm sure M-Maka is just a bit nervous around us." Tsubaki jumped in as the peacemaker of the conversation. "She is n-new and she doesn't know us."

Liz sighed and glared down at her lunch before quickly looking back up again to reassess her surroundings for what seemed to Maka like the fiftieth time. Patty began to play with her carrot sticks and Tsubaki picked at her pasta. Maka focused on taking tiny nibbles on her apple before setting it down half eaten.

"Can I ask why you're in here?" She addressed the whole table, her curiosity getting the better of her like it always did. A voice at the back of her head told her to shut up because she was only meant to be seen and not heard but Liz speaking drowned it out.

"Will you use this information to get the upper hand on me and exploit my weakness?" She questioned, pointing her fork in Maka's general direction. Patty sighed in exasperation and Tsubaki smiled slightly as if amused by the blonde's question.

"No," Maka finally said after breaking eye contact with Liz. "Why would I do that?"

Liz shrugged and stuck a forkful of pie in her mouth. "Because that's what everyone in the world wants to do. I need to get the upper hand in this situation and since you won't tell me why you're here, I won't tell you why I am."

Patty fixed Maka with an amused expression.

"I have bipolar bears!" She said excitedly, waving her hands wildly as she proclaimed herself to be in possession of polar bears. Liz and Tsubaki didn't even look surprised at this comment so Maka just smiled nervously and waited for Tsubaki to answer.

"The doctors diagnosed me with S-specific Phobia." The timid girl explained but didn't delve any deeper into what her condition was like or what it even meant. Maka took another small bite of her apple before deciding that she wasn't hungry and pushed it out of her view.

As she was doing this, a stern looking lady appeared behind Liz. She had shortish black hair and glasses which gave her a professional look. She wore a neat black suit. The lady was very quiet but Liz noticed Maka gazing above her head and spun around immediately. She shrieked in fear and shock, lashing out at the lady who caught the punch and shook her head disapprovingly.

"We do this every day Liz. You've made no progress. You have to find a way to deal with this otherwise you'll never be able to leave."

In reply to the comment, Liz got up and stormed away, exiting the room leaving the 3 girls and the lady behind along with Liz's half eaten lunch. Tsubaki trembled in her seat before muttering something and leaving too, Patty close behind her because as she had happily claimed, she wanted to annoy Soul and BlackStar.

The lady took Liz's discarded seat and fixed Maka with a level gaze, her clear eyes seemingly taking in every detail of Maka. Her sweater, her pigtails and her bruises from the fall that had not yet faded.

"Well Maka it's nice to finally meet you." The lady said once she'd given Maka a good look over. "I'm Azusa Yumi and I will be one of your therapists. If you follow me, I'd like to squeeze in a small session now."

**Shortish chapter I guess. You can guess what Liz has if you like. If you are right you…I don't know…can request something I guess like a oneshot, bonus chapter, paring and I'll try to do it. **

**Anyway please review!**


	4. Meet the boys, some of them

**Sorry I couldn't be better- Meet the boys…some of them**

**Thanks go out to some guests (not sure if you're the same person…also I think it'll probably be SoMa but I'm not good at writing them so I'll see what happens) to another guest (I'm glad you think it's interesting) Thesilentinfinity (why name why and yeah, I also thought Patty was rather bipolar) Mydogshaveissues (close but not quite)** **vicarmstrng734, momokol,** **Mystic piss, yourotpgirl and running-neighkid. Hope I didn't forget anyone.**

**Also good job Sabrina bina! You guessed what Liz has. Paranoia or paranoid personality disorder. You can request something! WOOOOO! I'll try and do it though I can't make promises with pairings (I'm a terrible romance writer) **

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater is sadly not mine…though the whole fan thing gives it away…I think**

Maka stared in shock at the lady before her who had gotten back to her feet and was obviously waiting for Maka to follow her.

But Maka was in no mood to sit down and talk about her feelings. Didn't they understand she could handle things herself? She was an individual human being and she was not the type to talk about her feelings. If they wanted to help her, they'd let her go home so she could settle her affairs.

Azusa was still waiting expectantly for Maka so the teen sighed and got up reluctantly, fixing a polite expression on her face. She needed to convince them she was getting better after all and being rude and un-cooperative would get her nowhere.

Maka followed Azusa through the maze of tables until they reached the door. The therapist gestured for Maka to leave first and she complied, pushing on the heavy door with enough force to send her stumbling into the corridor. Azusa made no comment on this, swiftly passing Maka so she could lead her to her office.

Maka looked around to make sure no one had seen her fall and quickly followed Azusa, looking around as they were moving to a part of the hospital where she hadn't been before.

The doors she was passing had boy's names on them now. The names Death the Kid (Maka wasn't sure whether she should laugh or be worried about the name) Ox and BlackStar where some she saw. BlackStar's name was contained in the outline of a star. Death the Kid had the some symmetrical pattern underlining his name and Ox had nothing, just the name.

Maka was busy staring at a door with a frosted glass pane that she didn't notice Azusa had disappeared. The girl ran to the end of the corridor to see that she could take two paths. Azusa wasn't in sight on either of the corridors so Maka ended up turning aimlessly on the spot, unsure of what to do.

It was then that a door on the left corridor opened and a smartly dressed teen with shaggy black hair stepped out holding a notebook and what looked like a stress ball. He said something to whoever was in the room he'd just exited and then turned and started heading towards Maka. He didn't look very happy but when he saw Maka, something filtered across his face.

"Um, hello." Maka said nervously, unsure of what the something had meant.

"You're clothes," He got out. "And you're hair. They're not symmetrical. Please let me fix it!"

"Eh," Maka took a step back, not entirely sure what he'd meant.

"Symmetrical. It has to be symmetrical!" The boy insisted, stamping his foot. "Let me fix it please!"

"Just let him do it Maka." Azusa's stern voice came from right behind Maka. Said girl spun around to see the black haired therapist standing there with her arms crossed. Maka sighed and nodded to the boy who stepped forward and re-did her hair before adjusting her clothes. Once the boy was satisfied with her look, he smiled and skipped away, humming under his breath.

"Who was that?" Maka asked, examining her new look.

"That's Death the Kid or Kid as well call him." Maka could hear the exasperation in her voice. Hopefully it wasn't because of Maka. "He has severe OCD and…other illnesses. Though his OCD is the worst of his conditions."

Maka nodded absently, remembering the name on the door and then winced as Azusa smacked her gently up the back of her head.

"Pay attention from now on ok. I have to admit I was surprised when I turned around and you weren't there."

Maka scowled but nodded hastily when Azusa glared at her from behind her glasses. The grumpy woman spun on her heel and marched to a door down the right corridor labelled with her name. Maka slowly followed, dragging her feet. Azuma had disappeared into her office leaving Maka to take a breath and walk into it.

The office was neat and spacious with a framed certificate and a photo of Azusa with a few other people such as Marie being the only wall decorations. The desk held a shiny computer, various notebooks and a lot of pencil pots with different varieties of stationary. There was also a filing cupboard with a vase of flowers resting on top and a bookcase full of fiction and non-fiction. The titles included 'Dealing with OCD' and 'Communication in 5 easy steps.' Maka rolled her eyes.

Azusa sat down in a vinyl computer chair, gesturing to one of the 3 other less impressive chairs in the room. She grabbed one of the notebooks as well as a pen and hastily scrawled Maka's name on it.

"I get my own notebook?" Maka asked, sitting down on the very edge of the chair the furthest away from Azusa.

"I have a notebook for each of my patients." Azusa said in her no nonsense voice. "It makes keeping notes easier." The therapist opened to the first page and scribbled something down.

"You're making notes on me already?" Maka asked incredulously.

Azusa lowered the book and fixed Maka with an almost pitying look.

"You may not realise it Maka Albarn but you're a very easy girl to read."

Shivers ran down Maka's spine as Azusa said this. She squirmed in her seat and tried to meet Azusa's eyes. She looked away quickly however. To be frank, Azusa scared her.

Maka heard pen on paper and resisted the urge to groan. Could Azusa really know so much about her just from looking at her? She had barely said anything and nothing about how she felt and why she had jumped off a building.

"So Maka would are your opinions of DWMA so far?" Azusa asked in polite yet formal tone causing Maka to look up in surprise. Azusa still had the pen in hand, poised to write but she was looking at Maka with her level gaze.

"Eh?" Maka couldn't help but let loose her usual noise of confusion.

"I want to know what you think of the hospital." Azusa repeated with a tinge of annoyance in her voice.

"It's…ok I guess." Maka looked down at her hands.

"Do you like anything about it?" Azusa pressed her.

"Um…the eating hall is ok I guess." Maka twisted her two hands together.

"Nice food?" Azusa was pushing for an answer now.

"Yeah…" Maka paused, thinking of what she could say to make her seem normal. "The chicken was nice."

Azusa paused to write more notes down, her hand moving at what seemed to be a blur as she took down what she considered important about Maka. Maka shuffled awkwardly, just wanting to go and lounge around in her temporary room.

Azusa finished writing down her notes and looked back up at Maka just as the teen made a movement to stand. The eyes stared at Maka from behind the clear lenses before suddenly softening.

"I know this is a lot to take in right now Maka and I have no doubts that you don't want to be here so how about you just talk about what you want to."

Maka gaped at her and the sudden change in demeanour. Did everyone in this hospital like to switch randomly between different personalities? Were they personally trying to confuse her?

"What are your interests Maka?" Azusa tried to coax a response out of Maka. The girl didn't want to respond but she had to keep up her 'I want to get better and go home' act so she decided to answer.

"I like reading," She said in an ordinary tone though Maka could feel excitement coursing through her body. She loved reading and she loved talking about the books she read. From the bookcase, Maka was guessing Azusa was an avid reader too but then again, she might just have them to take up space.

That's what Maka was really to her family. Someone to take up space in the second bedroom. Only Maka was sure her parents were regretting choosing to fill the empty room with her presence. They didn't take any notice of her so surely that's what was going on in her house right now. In fact, they were probably celebrating and drinking champagne whilst she was being forced to talk to Azusa.

"Maka," Azusa's voice snapped her back into reality. "What books do you like?"

"Um…" Maka racked her brain for a normal book series, one that everyone knew but she'd never really had any friends so she wasn't sure what people read.

"I'll start then." Azusa said primly, cementing Maka's suspicion that she too, was a bookworm. "I like Petty Thoughts by Grace Surmon.*"

Maka shrugged, never having read the book herself.

"It's pretty mature." Azusa explained. "So I'd have been more surprised if you had read it."

"So what's it about?" Maka curiously asked, unknowingly shedding her mask as she slowly opened up to Azusa. Said therapist delved into a complicated plot about a girl who decides the only way to figure out her sexual orientation is to travel the world and arrange meetings with famous people. It didn't really interest Maka so she was glad when Azusa swiftly ended a sentence and once again asked Maka what books she liked.

"I like the Cat and Kid series." Maka said eventually.

"I think I've heard of that." Azusa relaxed in her chair. "It's very popular right now."

"Yup," Maka said excitedly. "They're making a movie of it!" Azusa sat back in her chair and let Maka ramble on for a while about her favourite books series. Maka found herself unknowingly relaxing as she was allowed to be herself without worrying about being ignored.

A bell rang suddenly, startling Maka who had been starting on one of the main characters, Alethea-Raven's back story. Azusa yawned and glanced over at a desk clock, noticing lunch was over.

"It's time for your group session Maka." Azusa set her notebook aside. "Do you need me to show you the way?"

Maka frowned, trying to recall if Marie had mentioned the group session room.

"Where is it?" She asked after deciding that no, Marie hadn't mentioned it.

"Near the eating hall."

"Then I'm sure I can find my own way home." Maka stood up and braved a small smile at Azusa. "Thanks for um…listening. I guess I'll go now."

Azusa nodded and gave a little wave, watching as the teen started to walk then suddenly skipped out the door. The therapist smiled sadly to herself.

"They all think they can fake being alright don't they."

xxxxxxxx

Maka walked at a leisurely pace as she made her way back to the dining hall where she could find the group session room from there. Unfortunately, she turned a corner to find a dead end. All she could see was a window seat and some cushions, obviously a quiet place for reading. Disorientated, Maka spun around and tried another way only to end up outside a room labelled 'art room.' Where was she?

She ran round another corner, speeding up in her desperation to find the room and smashed into someone. She heard the person make an 'oof' sound and strong hands immediately pushed her away, sending her reeling back into a wall. Maka almost fell to the ground but she braced herself against the wall until she felt she could stand without its support.

Standing before her was a boy who for some reason screamed 'shark' to Maka. Maybe it was his pointed teeth, one that protruded slightly over his lip. He had white spiky hair…white? Of course, this must be the boy Tsubaki called Soul.

His mop of white hair was held up by a headband that didn't actually look girly. Maka felt her cheeks flame, not because she liked him or anything but because she'd crashed into him which was very awkward especially when they didn't even know each other.

"Watch where you're going idiot." Soul snarled, adjusting his jacket though Maka hadn't seen anything wrong with it in the first place.

"Well how about you watch out too." Maka snapped right back, annoyed at being blamed for something that was equally the boy's fault.

Soul raised an eyebrow at her comment and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.

"What are you doing out here Newbie? You're in the boys dorms." He gestured to a door with his name printed on it surrounded by music notes and a little cartoon demon.

"I got lost." Maka mumbled, dragging the heel of her right shoe along the ground. "I'm trying to get to the group session room or whatever it's called."

"It hasn't really got a name." Soul thought for a moment. "Well I'm heading there too so just follow me. If we're any later, Sid will be annoyed."

Soul began to walk in an entirely different direction to what Maka had been going. The pig tailed girl groaned to herself before moving to follow the white haired boy who seemed to be talking to mid-air. He easily manoeuvred the corridors, taking random turns without the slightest hesitation. Soul must have been at the hospital for a while to know exactly where to go.

Soon enough, Maka began to recognize her surroundings but she still wasn't aware of exactly where they were so when Soul stopped abruptly, she ran into him again. He glared at her but made no comment, instead throwing open the door he'd stopped by. Soul marched in without a moment's hesitation but Maka paused. She wasn't sure she was ready for this.

"Come in Maka," A familiar cheerful voice called out. "We're all excited to meet you."

Maka frowned and had to force herself to not roll her eyes at the comment. But the girl knew waiting outside wouldn't help so she took another brief moment to settle herself and walked through the door.

Staring back at her was wild and bright eyes that seemed to take in everything about Maka. From her outsit to her hair, they were analysing it.

"Hello Maka!"

***so I made all these books up. **

**Pretty please review! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**


	5. And Meet Everyone Else

**Sorry I Couldn't be Better 5- And Meet Everyone Else**

**Well here is the next update. Thanks are thoroughly extended to ThePhantomWish (wow thanks for thinking so! And sorry for cliffy…it's a bad habit of mine) Super Pan-Chan (Really!? *dies*) Sabrina Bina (Really? That's so sweet. If anything strikes you, don't hesitate to ask) SabIrene28, LittleAngel1031, Marik of Yami, TotalGamer98,** **BOOKWORM405 and lovesucks2000. As always, I love people I may have missed. All the support really helps me. **

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater is…maybe…totally…ok not mine…BUT I DO OWN AN ARMY OF GEMMA'S…according to my friend. **

Maka wanted to shrink in on herself. She wanted to run from the room. She wanted to turn invisible or take back her entire life. Anything so that she wouldn't have to face the contents of the room before her. They were all staring at her with wide expectant eyes as though the wanted her to perform backflips or dance an Irish jig.

And why did they all look so happy? Weren't they all meant to have problems? Why would people with problems smile? Didn't they realize they were here because they were messed up in the head? Maka's eyes swiftly scanned the crowd spotting the people she knew.

She saw Tsubaki smiling reassuringly at her, her fingers dancing in her lap. Liz was glaring at her and Patty was waving a hand frantically as if she was afraid Maka couldn't see her. The blue haired boy…BlackStar was it? Anyway, he was pulling a weird face at her. Maka swiftly looked on. She spotted the OCD boy Kid running his eyes up and down her before nodding approvingly. And she saw Soul who had found himself a seat next to a pink haired…person and was pointedly ignoring her.

Some other people she saw included the glasses wearing boy who'd upset Patty at lunch and a giggling girl with short cropped strawberry blonde hair. There were a few more people but before she could pick out their distinguishing features, Marie drew her attention to her. The cheerful woman was seated on a chair in the circle, smiling reassuringly at Maka. The therapist had changed clothes since Maka had seen her, now adorned in a comfy black wool sweater and grey track pants. Her eye patch remained firmly in place though.

"Nice to see you Maka," Marie was saying. "Even if you are a little late."

Maka wanted to snap at her about getting lost but she could feel the eyes practically burning into her so she stayed silent. Instead, the teen simply nodded and hurriedly scanned the room for a spare place to sit. The only spare place seemed to be to the right of Marie with the pink haired person on the other side. That meant Soul was only one person away from her but at least it would be hard to make eye contact.

Maka quickly shuffled over to the seat and plonked down into it ignoring the pink teen who shied away from her. She folded her arms defensively across her chest and stared determinedly at the ground.

"Right," Marie piped up in her high tone. "So obviously, we have a new patient joining us today. Her name is Maka Albarn."

A chorus of ill-timed 'Hello Maka' rang out and Maka allowed herself to look up from the ground and form an 'I don't want to speak or smile but hi all the same because I don't want to be seen as a rude person' expression. She heard a snicker from one section of the room and instantly shot her eyes across there. Faces stared back at her innocently.

"Now I'd like everyone to introduce themselves and share a bit about yourself with Maka." Marie narrowed her eyes at the section that had laughed at Maka but her voice was still happy and bright. "Maybe if you want to, you can even tell her why you're here."

Groans and protests filled the room and Maka found herself silently agreeing with them. It was obviously a touchy subject to everyone. Why the hell would you share it with some stranger?

"Hey, hey quiet down." Marie almost shouted though she someone managed to maintain her cheerful tone. "I said if you wanted to, I never said you _had _to."

The complaints died down and an almost deathly silence fell across the room but was broken by Patty screaming about giraffes. A few people laughed and Liz rolled her eyes though Maka saw a fond smile tugging at her lips. Well they were sisters. Weren't siblings meant to get along?

"We'll start to the left of me so Maka can tell us about herself last." Marie continued on once everyone had calmed down. Maka frowned at this but upon glancing at the clock, decided that if everyone spoke for a long time, she wouldn't have time to speak.

The person to the left of Marie spoke first, a quite looking boy with hair tied in a spiky ponytail and dark glasses obscuring his eyes.

"Hello," He muttered quietly after a sly nudge from Marie. "I'm Harvard." He didn't speak after this even though Marie tried her best to get him to speak. Maka inwardly groaned. From the way things were going, she was going to have to talk after all. Maybe she could lie.

The boy next to Harvard was the bespectacled boy with spiky hair tuffs.

"I am Ox Ford!" The boy announced, standing up dramatically and thrusting a hand into the air. "I'm sure you've heard of me. If you haven't well…I'll have to make you have heard of me!"

His loud tone startled a shy looking black haired girl who immediately clapped her hands over her ears and drew her knees up to shield her body. There she trembled as Ox continued his rant, threatening to…let's just say Maka nodded and pretended to know him.

"Ox sit down please." Marie said patiently as if she'd had to deal with this situation a hundred times. "You're scaring Jaqueline."

Ox grumbled but he sunk back into his seat and folded his arms, looking very angry and sulky. The shy girl slowly withdrew from herself once she saw Ox was seated. She kept her hands firmly in place over her ears however. Marie sighed but moved onto the next people, 2 small almost identical girls who were sharing the same seat. However it was a boy who introduced them.

"This is Thunder and Fire Pot," He said confidently. Though they prefer just Pot for both of them."

Maka remembered the door with the names and Marie's explanation. She decides to be nice, giving the small girls a normal smile.

"Nice to meet you." She said easily, unsure of the tone in her voice but deciding it didn't sound rude or sarcastic.

The girls whisper into the boy's ear and he nods.

"They say hello back and they like your hair." Marie seems delighted by this comment though Maka thinks it's nothing special, just a greeting and a compliment. Perhaps it was to do with their…condition. That must be it.

There wasn't any more awkward interacting between Maka and the girls so they moved onto the brown skinned boy who called himself Kilik. He seemed very open and relaxed and Maka found herself subconsciously relaxing around him.

"I'm here for substance abuse." The teen scratched the back of his head embarrassedly. "My dad's a bit of a tosser so…"

"Language," Marie chided him gently and he laughed easily. Maka suddenly found herself being jealous of him. He seemed so happy and confident and sure of himself. It wasn't fair. Even the kids in the mental hospital were happier than her.

"I like video games and I'll read the occasional book." Kilik spoke again, pushing his glasses up his nose. "And I like food and steak and apples." He rambled on for a while and Maka was happy to just let it wash over her as she tried to secretly scan the room. Everyone looked bored and Marie probably realised it to because she smoothly cut Kilik off.

"Perhaps we should move on now Kilik." The therapist said calmly. "I'm sure Kim wants to speak."

The girl in question was the girl with short strawberry blonde hair and she groaned as Marie drew the attention to her. She was obviously the 'cool girl' type that Maka had seen around school, the type to not do work and try and make others do it last minute.

"Well I'm Kim," The girl said in a bored tone, somehow offending Maka who had been treated rather nicely up until then. "I'm a klepto and this stupid place couldn't mind their own business so…"

"Kim try to be nicer please." Marie scolded the girl. "This is all very new for Maka and don't you remember how nervous you were on your first day?"

Kim shrugged carelessly and nudged the shy girl who drew her hands away from her ears to smile at Maka.

"I'm Jaqueline," The girl blushed. "I have Misophonia. It's very nice to meet you Maka."

"Same," Maka said lightly, not sure how to respond to the girl's condition considering she didn't know what it was.

"Woooooooooooo I'm next!" BlackStar spoke up before Jaqueline could say anything else. "I am the amazing BlackStar! I am going to be a God and no one can stop me! You can have my autograph if you like."

"Um no thanks." Maka tried declining politely. "I'm ok actually."

There was a blur of movement and suddenly BlackStar was right in front of her, tilting his head almost innocently. Maka jolted back in her chair from shock. Before the hyper teen could say or do anything, Marie was dragging him back to his seat, ruffling his hair affectionately.

"Try to control your impulse to do that BlackStar." She lightly pushed the boy into his seat. "Maka doesn't need you scaring her on her first day."

BlackStar pouted but smiled as Marie gave him a lolly from the bag Maka suddenly noticed was hanging off her shoulder.

"Let's move onto you Liz," Marie said as BlackStar carefully unwrapped the lolly as though it was some deadly mission. The blonde girl shook her head however.

"We met at lunch. I don't have anything else to share…and neither does Patty." Marie seemed to accept this but Maka was inwardly panicking. The time the lesson was scheduled to finish (5:30) was nowhere near being up which would mean she would have to talk. Maybe Kid…or Death or whatever his name was would take a while. He was sitting next to Patty, fiddling with the sleeves of his black jacket.

Once it was perfectly clear that Liz and Patty weren't going to say anything about from patty declaring her love for giraffes, the boy straightened up and smiled brightly at Maka.

"I'm Kid and I love symmetry…apparently loving something means you have OCD." The last sentence left him looking just as sulky as everyone else. Maka figured if sulky was a condition, everyone here would have…including her. She hated to admit it but the way she was acting right now could only be classified as sulky.

"Kid we understand you love symmetry," Marie said patiently. "That doesn't mean you can attack bus drivers with crooked caps."

"But he wasn't symmetrical." Kid complained.

"Let's move on." Was all Marie said, an obvious dismissal on Kid's behalf. It was Tsubaki next but all she did was smile and wave, obviously silently agreeing with Liz's point. Maka already knew a lot about her and any other questions Maka had for the nervous teen could be asked in private. It was blatantly obvious that Tsubaki didn't want to speak in front of the group.

Maka ignored the next two teens who seemed to fade into the background. There was a blank faced brown haired girl called Tami who mumbled something about Anorexia and a gothic looking boy who introduced himself as Luke and admitted he had factitious disorder.

After the two people who made little to no impact on Maka, the teens gaze fell upon the next seat. Oh crap it was Soul! Now she either had to listen to the jerk rave on about how awesome he was or sit silently as he embarrassed her in front of everyone.

She was surprised then when all he did was raise an eyebrow, mutter his name and then seem to fall back into his dream like state where he blocked everyone else out. Maka had noticed this when she was ignoring Tami. It wasn't like she wanted to stare at him of course. She was bored and her eyes just happened to fall on him…and stay there.

There was now only one person left before Maka would have to talk and she could feel her heart beating fast as Marie smiled reassuringly at the next teenager to speak, the pink haired person. Maka still wasn't sure of the gender.

"I d-don't know how to d-deal with this." They stammered, casting their eyes downwards.

"It's ok," Marie said in a tone that matched her reassuring look. "Just introduce yourself."

The teen shook their head firmly causing the pink hair to whip around.

"I d-don't know how to." They explained miserably and Maka felt a pang of sympathy for them. To be unable to deal with doing anything must be a tough way to live.

"Just try to ok." Marie said, her tone now one of patience and understanding. "I'm sure Maka would love to know your name."

The pink haired person made an 'eep' sound and their cheeks flamed red.

"C-Crona," They stammered eventually. "I'm C-Crona."

Apparently satisfied, Marie turned to face Maka, a huge smile plastered on her face.

"It's your turn Maka," She said with a tinge of relief in her voice. Obviously making it round the full circle was a hard task to achieve. "Tell us about yourself."

Now there was no way Maka wanted to address a bunch of people she didn't even know and tell them about herself. They were all strangers here. She only knew their names and she was sure she would have forgotten a few by tomorrow. But the key to getting out of the hospital was to pretend to be getting better and…happier so that's what she was going to do.

But how?

Maka squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, not sure what to say. If she said she liked books, people might call her a nerd. She was bullied enough at school. She could make an interest up or make up a random back story about life at home but what if she forgot about it or was asked to talk about a movie she'd never seen. Her best bet was to share the bare minimal and make it sound like a lot.

"Well I'm Maka as you know and I go to Death City South High School or Death South for short." Good one Maka. Prattle on about school for a while. "I uh…like art and science. I also don't mind P.E or English." This was going great. No one was giving her weird looks. They all seemed mildly interested.

"What else Maka?" Marie prompted and Maka racked her brains hurriedly for something convincing to say.

"I have a cat called Blair and I like the colour red." Maka found herself not lying to the group as she had done before with her favourite subjects. After all, liking a colour and having a pet wouldn't get her labelled…would it?

"That's great Maka, I'm sure we all know a bit more about you know." Marie broke in suddenly and Maka glanced towards the clock. The session wasn't up, why had she been stopped?

"Well since it's Maka's first day and it's too late to start a new activity now, why don't you all go hang out in the Rec Room."

There were a few voice agreements but most of the teenagers just nodded and stood up, stretching or nudging each other. Maka quickly got to her feet but she wasn't sure what to do or where to go. Luckily, she was saved from finding her own answer to that when a hand pulled her over to where Tsubaki and Liz stood. It was Patty!

"Tsubaki told me to get you." The paranoid teen muttered, shuffling her feet and looking away.

"Uh thankyou," Maka said back just as awkwardly.

"Let's g-go or the good seats will be t-taken." Tsubaki said hastily and with a 'woop' from Patty, the group of girls had headed out the room and down the corridor.

**Hope this chapter is long enough.**

**The two OC's are only there because I wanted more characters as patients but also need people as doctors and stuff. Ignore them or whatever, they won't kill you.**

**Also not sure if ya'll know this but Crona has no gender in Manga unlike in Anime where it's hinted they are a boy. I just chose to go with Manga here.**

**Next up- Are all Dinner's This Chaotic?**


	6. Are All Dinners This Chaotic?

**Sorry I Couldn't Be Better 6- Are All Dinners This Chaotic? **

**Just want to say I love y'all so much! Your support is what keeps this fic going…plus my love for writing! I get the feeling my author's notes are boring…hmmmmm**

**Thanks as usual are extended to deadrose97 (isn't Crona just awesome!) Sabrina Bina (I can't wait either so here it is) tanya (aww thanks) Guest (I'm glad you like my decision with Crona and yes, we will hear about le bus driver) Dwmalove (that's what I'm doing *W*) MyDogsHaveIssues (And so we shall) AquaPrincessLovesFairyTail, Renting, kiz1989, Alexa1235 and lindseyloo44. I apologise if I missed anyone! There's so many of you who support me and this fic. **

**Disclaimer: We all know the drill *blows whistle and hundreds of cheerleaders start to dance* No, no she can't go and own Soul Eater! (there's a tune somewhere there in my head) **

Maka followed slowly along behind the girls who were chattering about dinner. They seemed to be guessing what special treat they'd get today. The teen felt lost in all the conversation like she was standing on the edge of a pool watching people play a game she couldn't understand because she wasn't in the water. Why were they getting a treat?

And why did this frustrate her? Why? She wasn't meant to care right? She just wanted to be left alone so why did she hate it when she was left alone? It wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. What was going on inside her? Why did she have to feel like this?

"Maka!" A voice shattered her thoughts and sent them crashing away. Maka realised she'd stopped dead in the corridor. Staring at her in concern were the 3 girls. Patty looked serious for once, her eyes wide as she looked at Maka's trembling form. Liz's eyes were darting around the room as if she was scared someone would jump out but apart from that but she was waiting by Patty. Tsubaki was right in front of Maka her head tilted and her face one of worry.

"Are you o-ok?" She asked Maka, her ponytail swaying as she turned her head to the right angle.

"Ah yeah," Maka's voice felt fake even to her ears. Fake and dry. Her heart was beating fast for some reason like she'd just ran a marathon. "Just um…zoned out."

Her words did little to change the expressions of her…associates in front of her. What did she call the girls? They surely weren't friends. They'd only just met after all. But they seemed to care about her already which was strange. She could be in here for murder for all they knew.

Then again, Maka had the feeling that the three girls could read her better than that. Tsubaki kept giving her weird little encouraging glances like she knew what Maka was going through. But the girl had specific disorder, not depression like she had. How could she relate?

"Let's just head to the rec room then," Liz said finally. "We don't want Kim and her gang to take the squishy arm chair circle."

"Squishy, squishy!" Patty cried, throwing her hands in the air and jumping around. Maka almost smiled at the sight but it had been so long since she'd smiled over something so simple that it was almost like her face didn't want to form it. With a sigh, Maka trailed listlessly after the happy group, wishing she could be happy over such simple things.

* * *

The squishy arm chair circle or whatever it was called was occupied by Kim, Jaqueline, Tami and Luke so the girls had to sit somewhere else. There were 3 chairs free but then one person would have to sit on the floor plus their conversation would be overheard by the current occupiers of the circle.

Instead, Liz gestured to the window seat looking out over the car park and the main road. There were a few chairs scattered around the seat so the small group of girls headed over there. Soul and BlackStar were at a table building an elaborate tower out of cards whilst Kid offered tips on how it could be symmetrical. Crona was on a rocking chair, pushing it back and forth with his feet in an almost sullen way.

Maka perched on the edge of the window seat and drew her knees to her chest. Tsubaki sat next to her whilst Liz and Patty took the chairs. Maka noticed Liz had adjusted her chair so she could see the entirety of the room.

"How ling until dinner?" Maka asked, unsure of what time meals were eaten at the hospital. Tsubaki glanced at a digital clock for a brief moment before smiling at Maka.

"It's in twenty minutes." She declared. "We're sitting in a big g-group tonight. BlackStar mentioned it at b-breakfast."

Patty and Liz looked happy but Maka inwardly groaned. The big group probably included Soul and he did not want to sit with that jerk through an entire meal.

"I wonder if we'll get hot chips." Liz pondered.

"I want chips!" Patty squealed. "Chips, chips, chips!"

"Calm down Patty," Liz chided. "You don't want to get in trouble."

Patty quietened down at this. In fact she almost looked sad, her eyes watering and lip trembling. However, Liz noticed and suggested they go watch the boys build the card tower.

"Yeah!" Patty agreed enthusiastically and then she grabbed Liz's arm and dragged her away, Liz complaining as she did. Kid shouted at them to not bump the table and a squabble broke out. No nurses came hurrying so the might must have just been playful insults.

Maka shot a sideways glance at Tsubaki who smiled tentatively. Maka quickly looked away so she missed the look of hurt that flashed briefly across Tsubaki's serene face. If Maka had seen it, maybe she would have been inclined to stop acting so cautious around the girls but the teen was off in her own world. Because she's been ignored since she was young, Maka was not used to caring about others and their wellbeing. She wasn't used to interacting with people either.

Maka uncurled her legs and slumped against the window, turning awkwardly so she could look out the window. Her side screamed in protests, the thick layer of bruises there yet to heal. Maka found herself not caring. The pain reminded her of her attempt, how close she'd been. She wouldn't fail next time.

Her eyes fell upon a man down in the car park. It was Sid. He was chatting with a pretty young woman who seemed to be laughing at the current moment. A small boy stood next to her, his hair long for his age and his face not showing any emotion. He didn't look blank however. He looked…peaceful. Perhaps he'd come in for day therapy. The woman was holding his hand and he didn't seem to be protesting. Maka felt something tug at her heart and it hurt.

She wanted that. She wanted a smiling mum who held her hand and took her to day therapy because she cared. Maybe if her parents did care, she wouldn't even be here. Why did they hate her? Was she not good enough for them? Had they taken one look at her and gone 'Well there's obviously been a mix up?' Why couldn't they love her?

"Hey it's dinner time!" A loud and enthusiastic voice cried out and Maka turned away from the window to see BlackStar jumping around. He knocked the table causing the card table to fall down and Kid to weep dramatically at the 'ruined tower of heavenly symmetry.' Liz seemed to be trying not to laugh and Soul looked somewhat amused.

"Come on guys," A nurse who looked almost like Sid stepped into the room. "We don't want to go overtime like last night."

BlackStar laughed at this and the nurse shot him a glance. He flapped a hand dismissively and the small groups began to move out. Maka hurried to follow Tsubaki as she didn't want to get in trouble. She was not looking forward one bit to dinner.

"What's the treat today Nygus?" The boy Kilik asked as the group crossed the hall to the dining hall.

"You'll have to wait and see." The nurse affectionately ruffled the boy's hair. "I'm sure you'll like it though."

Maka found herself glaring angrily at the boy and the nurse. Why had none of the nurses treated her like that?

'_Because you act like a conceited know it all brat' _

Shut up

'_But you do'_

That doesn't matter

'_No one likes you'_

Tsubaki does

'_But you still brush her off'_

I'm sure she doesn't mind. She must realise I have a reason too

'_You'll lose her one day if you keep thinking like that'_

No

_Worthless_

Shut up

_Unwanted _

I am

_No wonder your parents ignore you_

That's not fair

"Hey it is hot chips!"

What?

Maka shook her head to see Patty clinging to Liz in excitement as she pointed at the metal tray holding the treat. Maka's mouth watered at the sight and smell of dinner. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten such a meal. Often she dined on leftovers or ready cooked meals her parents left around the house.

"Hey Maka you coming?" Liz asked almost hesitantly, her eyes flickering from Maka's face to the kitchen door and back again.

Maka nodded and followed Liz over to a table large enough to hold at least 8 people. In this case, 7 people would be sitting at the table. Liz, Patty, Kid, Soul, BlackStar, Tsubaki and Maka herself. Maka made sure to choose a seat as far away from Soul as possible. The girl chose to sit at the left side of the table with Liz at the end and Tsubaki next to her. Soul sat at the opposite corner on the right side of the table. The others filled in the spots and stayed quiet, looking expectantly at the front of the room.

"What's going on?" Maka whispered to Tsubaki, sensing the need to be quiet.

"D-doctor Stein is going to address us. He does so every F-Friday." Tsubaki stuttered quietly.

As if her words had been the crazy man's cue, the kitchen door burst open and in a blur of white, Stein was standing in front of the buffet, his white coat still flapping from his speedy movement.

"Hello my precious patients!" He cried dramatically. He sounded a lot different from the man who had visited Maka in the hospital. "And welcome Maka. I hope your first day was an enjoyable one."

Maka rolled her eyes and forced a pleasant smile, nodding slightly. Stein's cold eyes met Maka's and the teen shivered. His cheery tone did not match the look of his eyes at all. No one else seemed bothered by this so maybe they were used to it.

"To start of today's messages, I'm sorry to say that no one is leaving this floor. You are however, all making very good progress and I congratulate Harvard especially on his progress. "

Maka's eyes flew to the silent teen along with everyone else. She found herself unable to read his expression but she wasn't sure what he'd looked like before she'd arrived so she couldn't tell if he'd actually made progress.

"As you can tell, tonight's treat is hot chips. I hope you all enjoy it." Stein continued on, all eyes flying back to him. "Remember to get your medicine if you require it. Boys go to Sid and girls go to Nygus as usual. Dismissed!"

Maka watched as he departed through the entrance door leaving silence for a few moments before chatter broke out.

"Ok table 1 come up," Nygus called and Maka watched as Kim, Jaqueline and Tami walked up, chattering happily. None of the girls went to get medicine however Nygus follows Tami, choosing food for her. Maka also noticed the staff were especially quiet around Jaqueline. Kim seemed to be fidgeting, her eyes wide as she was offered food. There was no chance to take any. She was given all she wanted.

Maka frowned as she watched Ox, Kilik Harvard, Fire, Thunder and Luke move up for food. Harvard was given some tablets that he didn't take, placing them on his tray instead and that was it. The conditions they had obviously didn't require medicine. They probably just suffered through hours of therapy.

"Ok table 3 up you come," Nygus called. "Maka you get medicine too ok."

Maka moved forward noticing the Soul, BlackStar, Kid and Patty moved up with her. Liz and Tsubaki moved straight to the food line where Liz immediately began an argument with one of the chefs about poison in the chips.

Patty moved away with a small container and Maka stepped forward. She inwardly groaned as Nygus handed her one small tablet.

"You have to take it Maka." Nygus said in a firm but sympathetic tone. "I promise it won't kill you."

Maka hesitantly reached out and took the tablet, unsure if she should take it now or wait like Harvard and Patty had done. She shot a quick look over to where the boys were and saw that they had taken their tablets back to the table.

"Better go get your food before BlackStar takes it all." Nygus gave Maka a gentle shove and the teen stumbled awkwardly over to buffet where she ended up choosing some chicken pieces to go with her chips. She also dumped a scoop of Greek salad on her plate. She wasn't going to not eat vegetables just because her parents weren't around to give her disapproving looks when she ignored the salad.

Maka sat back down at the table and watched as conversation broke out. Soul and Kid seemed to be comparing their medicine, talking about it being different than last nights. Liz was poking suspiciously at her food whilst Patty downed her tablets almost like she was having shots. Tsubaki was listening to BlackStar boast about his awesome moves.

Crona shuffled past the table and Maka wanted to them him to sit at the spare spot but she stayed silent and they moved on. She didn't know if the group liked Crona or not and she didn't want to get on their bad sides.

"Better take your medicine Maka," Liz said as she finally deemed her chips safe. "Or Nygus will be on your case."

Maka pulled a face but she complied, taking it with a large gulp of water. Kid and Soul had finished having their seemingly normal conversation about medicine and now Soul was eating his chips one by one whilst Kid arranged his food on his plate. It was obviously symmetrical.

"Kid I don't like it." Patty suddenly reached over and messed around with the design, mixing the chips with the beetroot and giving the plate a pinkish look. Kid instantly slapped her hand away and started crying to Maka's shock.

"No," He wailed. "Now I'm a failure and Dad will get mad!"

"Apologise Patty," Soul said in a bored tone. "Or he'll flip his shit."

"No!" Patty insisted. "It's all pink and pretty now."

"Ugh," BlackStar groaned. "If Kid doesn't like pink then he can have green." The blue haired boy grabbed a handful of lettuce and threw it at Kid. His aim was off though and he hit Tsubaki instead. The shy girl gave a squeak of terror and Liz laughed despite the food she had in her mouth. This however caused her to choke and she started shrieking about being poisoned.

Patty seemed to find this entire situation hilarious and she soon joined in with BlackStar and threw her bread roll at Soul who fell of his chair trying to dodge it. Kid screamed profanities at Patty and Tsubaki staring trembling and her eyes watered. BlackStar started pelting his olives at Patty who retaliated with mini packets of butter. Maka sat there in shock as food flew over her head and loud screams filled the room.

Were all dinners this chaotic?

**Well I'm going to be away for 2 weeks so I kinda rushed this. Please review. I hope you enjoyed. I enjoy writing this, it really helps me.**

**TOSHI AWAY *jumps on plane to Darwin with half the family* **


	7. Awake

**Sorry I Couldn't be Better 7- Awake**

**Well holidays were fun. I swam with crocodiles. Don't worry, I didn't die…hmmmmm death by crocodiles. Had a slight slip up with my *ahem* bad habits so sorry for this delay. **

**Thanks are extended to MyDogsHaveIssues (so far this is a no pairing. Not many 15 year olds I know date (myself included) so at the moment Maka and Soul will just become really close friends) Super Pan-Chan (Sorry I had to, here's more) Dwmalove (did I do something wrong? Is that why you're shocked?) Sabrina Bina (awwww shucks) Guest (your review made my horrible day so much brighter. Thankyou) Laylay (so many smiles *hugs*) Darkangelily (I'm glad you picked up on that, Maka does have something else which will be revealed later) TRIX19 (OMG thankyou so much. That means a lot) and Phantom Wish (Perfect? *dies of joy*)**

**And to all who favourite and follow. I'd love to mention you all, seriously, but there's like so many of you! I love you all. Your support means more than you'll ever know. I mean it**

**And the grammar in the last chapter was appalling, I am very sorry. **

**Also some serious depressive thoughts. I don't want to make any of you sad so if you can't handle it, please don't read**

**Disclaimer: Sad depressed girls whose parents are jerks probably couldn't own Soul Eater. But keep dreaming if you are. I'm here for you, regardless of who you are!**

Maka was awake.

Now you probably wouldn't view that as a problem since most of the time people are awake and exciting events generally tend to happen when someone _is _awake but Maka really wasn't meant to _be _awake. The small digital clock on the bedside table's glowing red digits showed the time to be three AM.

So yes, Maka should definitely not be awake.

But she was nonetheless. He mind kept replaying the dinner over and over again. The events that had gone on after the food fight had been broken up. They weren't really that interesting but Maka kept thinking about them.

()

_The food had been cleared away and each of the patients involved had been given a stern but gentle scolding by Marie who had come into the room specially to deal with the aftermath. Then everyone had to apologise to the staff and other patients._

_Patty had seemed cheerful enough with her apology until Kim had made a snarky comment and the girl had flown into a rage. She'd been led away by a pretty nurse with big spots on her cheeks. _

_BlackStar had fluffed his way through his apology, adding random comments whenever he deemed it necessary. After a sharp look from Maire, the boy had the decency to look slightly apologetic and he was allowed to sit back down. _

_Soul had muttered a careless apology but no one made a comment. The teen hadn't really been involved, he was more of a victim but he also hadn't done anything to stop the fight._

_Liz shot everyone suspicious glances as she confidently apologised, the tone she used making it sound like she'd said the words many times before. Maka got the idea that the group of teens often caused chaos at meals. _

_Tsubaki stammered and stuttered her way through her apology, her face as red as a ripe tomato and her hands twisting together so that her palms became slick with sweat. She hadn't really been causing any trouble like Soul but Liz whispered something about it being part of her treatment. _

_Kid wasn't there for an apology. He'd started crying again and he'd been dragged away to talk to whoever his therapist was. _

_After the apologies were done and dusted, the remaining patients sat back down and poked listlessly at their food. Even BlackStar seemed to realise it wasn't the time to talk. Then again, it might have just been the medicine he'd taken. Liz had said it was to keep him calm. _

_Maka hated the silence. It was always silent at home apart from the clink of cutlery against china and the muffled chewing sounds from her parents. That was when they ate dinner together of course. Maka's parents didn't eat at home much._

_The teen wanted someone to say something. The silence was ebbing into her, like soon her entire life would just be silence. It was like she was wrapped in a thick blanket that no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn't escape. She was stuck. _

_That was why she had jumped. Somewhere in the back of her head, Maka had hoped that she would be free if she was dead. _

()

"No!" Maka broke herself out of her memories, sitting straight up as she did and breathing hard, trying to keep calm. "Don't go there Maka," She spoke quietly to herself but loud enough to break the silence of her room. She didn't want to drown. She wanted to soar. She just wanted to break the shell she was trapped in.

Maka had decided that she would be the person to break the shell. But she was still trapped no matter how hard she tried. The staff here thought they were helping but all they were doing was reinforcing the shell. Soon Maka would suffocate. It was only a matter of time.

The girl lay back down, staring upwards into darkness that concealed her view of the ceiling. She wondered what everyone else was doing. Did they lie awake? Or were they all so perfect that they slept without any fears or worries.

Maka had no idea that Harvard lay awake at night, terrified of nightmares that plagued him. She didn't know that Liz never fully went to sleep, that the girl woke up at least every two hours to reassure herself that she was safe. She was not aware of the fact that Jacqueline had to sleep with thick earplugs to block out the tiniest sound that might rouse her from her slumber and she certainly had no idea that right now Soul and Kid were wandering the corridors, their insomnia prompting them to abandon their beds and walk into the night.

Maka knew nothing because she'd never bothered to ask. She didn't know how to communicate. But she also didn't want to hurt anyone. Because if her parents hated her enough to all but ignore her then certainly no one would ever like her. Because if your parents didn't love you, then who else would?

The grandparents she'd never known?

The neighbour who once waved but never did because Maka didn't wave back?

The girl at school who had once complimented Maka's hair?

Tsubaki?

Kid?

Liz?

Patty?

BlackStar?

Soul?

None of them right?

"Right?" Maka asked herself out loud to the silence and received no answer.

She never did.

It wasn't like she was expecting one. She used to ask her parents questions but they would just stare before saying in polite and formal tones; 'Children are meant to be seen and not heard.'

Was that all she was to them? Someone to bring to functions? The equivalent of a new car that you bought just so you could show off to your colleagues? A china doll that you couldn't play with, you could only watch from afar?

Was that really all that Maka was? Was she just slowly gathering dust on a shelf until her parents grew tired of her? That wasn't fair. Her parents were the ones who had decided to have her.

_Or maybe you were an accident_

It was the voice again, seeping its way into her brain and picking out her deepest fears.

_Maybe they didn't mean to have you_

That's not true

_Really? But you don't even have baby photos_

Cameras are expensive

_Their jobs earn them a lot of money_

Well then they couldn't be bothered

_Because they don't love you. They don't want to bother with an accident _

NO!

Maka sat up again, this time jumping out of her bed and pacing back and forth. She'd said exactly what the voice had wanted her to say, she'd slipped up, all but welcomed it into her head. The voice knew how to exploit her.

She looked over at the small clock and saw the red lines now formed 3: 15. It was still a long time until morning. And there was no way she was lying back down and letting the voice speak its black words.

So that left only one option.

Walk…

Walk around the halls of the hospital. She was sure there would be at least some light and no one would be awake right? And if she was caught well…she was sick. They wouldn't get angry at her. At best they'd send her back to bed.

Maka reached for her dressing gown lying discarded on the floor and slipped it on, the sleeves a little short for her as it had been a while since she'd been shopping.

_Your parents don't want to spend time or money on you_

Shut up

Maka marched to the door before stopping, her hand centimetres from the knob. This was her last chance to turn back, to stay in bed and just try to sleep. She looked back at the bed but the glowing clock just gave the whole area an eerie feel to it.

Maka opened the door and slipped into the corridor, slowly shutting it behind her. The corridor was cold and the ground was icy beneath her feet. At least her breathe wasn't coming out in cloudy puffs. That would have been slightly off-putting. The corridor was dimly lit but the lights were blue making the whole thing seem like the setting of a horror movie.

"Calm down," Maka told herself. "It's better than the voice right?"

She fell silent, half expecting the voice to come back and fill her head with lies. But the corridor was silent and so was the inside of Maka's head. The teen let out a small sigh of relief before starting to walk, unsure of where she was heading.

Everything was quiet apart from the soft slap of Maka's bare feet on the floor. Maka hated silence but this one was…strangely peaceful. In fact Maka felt entirely at peace wandering the halls. It was the first time she'd felt relaxed since coming to the hospital and she was grateful. There was no chaos. No screaming BlackStar or accusing Liz or crying Kid.

But when Maka rounded the corner, she smashed right into someone and was sent tumbling backwards.

"Geeze are we going to make a habit of this?" An exasperated and annoyed voice asked.

Maka stared upwards and saw Soul standing in front of her with Kid peering out from behind him. Both the boys were dressed in just their pyjamas or what they were wearing as pyjamas. Soul was wearing a threadbare baggy t-shirt and trackies whilst kid wore immaculate buttoned black ones.

"What…what are you doing up?" Maka struggled to get the words out quietly. "I thought I was the only one awake."

Soul laughed suddenly and the loud sound shattered the silence.

"You think you're the only one awake in a hospital for mental kids?" The boy asked incredulously. "Please, more than half of us are awake though not all of us go wandering like Kid and I and now apparently you. What are you doing up anyway?"

"I could ask you the same question." Maka hissed. "And why are you so interested in me?" Soul shrugged.

"You're new," He said in a conversational tone. "Of course we're going to be interested. The last new person was Tsubaki and that was 6 months ago."

"Plus you seem nice," Kid said from behind Soul's back. "So it'd be cool if we could be friends."

Maka stopped mid breath as her mind replayed what Kid had just said. Be…friends? She'd never had friends? Why would they want to be friends? Wouldn't they just hate her?

_Of course they would. Now run away. Make them hate you_

The voice was back and this time it was ordering her around, telling her what to do. It seemed too confident, so sure of itself that all Maka wanted to do was listen. Things would be better for everyone if she was left alone.

**But you don't want that do you?**

A strong voice, different from the first burst into her mind and Maka almost stumbled from the force of it.

"Maka?" Kid's voice sent the old voice and the new voice tumbling away. "Are…you ok?"

"Huh?" Maka wanted to say yes but all that came out was a confused sound.

"You look kinda…faint," Kid explained. "Do you have a headache?"

"No," Maka said hesitantly. "At least I don't think I do."

Soul snickered but Kid nudged him and a serious expression took the place of the smirk he'd been wearing.

"You should get back to bed." Soul said firmly. "If you faint in the hallway it'll end badly for everyone."

"I'm not going to faint." Maka said indignantly. "The light is probably just making my face look a pit paler than usual."

"It's not the light." Kid piped up.

"Thanks Kid," Maka said sarcastically. "Anyway fine, I'll go back to bed. I don't want to stand around with you guys anyway."

She spun around but not before seeing the look of hurt flash across Kid's face and the concern on Soul's.

_Good…they won't bother you again_

Yeah

**But you want them to. You want them to care**

_No she doesn't_

**Yes she does**

"You don't know me." Maka said out loud. "So how about shutting up and letting me sleep?"

And the voices fell silent, satisfied for the night.

**So yeah, I found the time to update between holidays. It's the house boat today, I leave in about 1 hour. Hope this satisfies you, sorry it's short but I wanted to give you guys a chapter. **

**Please review so I can come home to surprises!**


	8. Admitting is half the Battle right?

**Sorry I Couldn't Be Better 8- Admitting is half the Battle...right? **

**Can I just say I am overwhelmed with all your reviews? I got back from my pretty good holiday (spare a few crappy moments that made me feel so small) to see all these amazing reviews and I all but cried. **

**Thanks go out to **

**TRIX19: I'm a huge Kid fan too so I am going to write a lot of Kid angst and Kid background…probs not in this chapter though. Sorry  
sabrina bina: Amazing *blushes* Thankyou so much  
Phantom Wish: The best? Oh my gosh thankyou thankyou thankyou  
ChildrenAreMySoulFood: It's no prob. And I had lots of fun writing the new voice  
Saltpath: I am blushing and smiling so hard right now. Thankyou for your praise  
Cherryberry998: Maka is going to confess very soon…maybe even this chapter, I'll see how it goes  
Laylay: Woooooooo smiles and hearts!  
Guest: Kid does relate to her, you'll see soon why and I'm glad you picked up on Maka healing!  
itsjustRAE: Beautiful? I am truly touched.**

**Plus anyone who favourites and follows! Love you all!**

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater is very sadly, not mine…I am a terrible drawer…**

Maka yawned as she sat at the table, her eyes struggling to stay open. She was tired from her little walk last night and it was very obvious. Kid was ignoring her which she was pretending not to care about and Soul was shooting her weird glances. Maka was just lucky that no one had noticed yet. Though it probably wouldn't be too long until someone did.

"So Maka, did you get a schedule yet?" Liz asked as she sniffed her apple. She put it down untouched eventually, obviously unhappy with some aspect of it.

"Schedule?" Maka asked quizzically, finishing her mouthful of yoghurt before she answered the question.

"Yeah," Patty cut in, strangely low key. "They're all pretty much the same apart from our individual therapy sessions." The bipolar girl was making a stack of grapes on her plates which Kid was fussing over.

Maka shrugged as a reply and focused on her yoghurt, scooping big spoonful's before flipping the utensil over and letting the food fall back into the bowl with a splat. Soul shot her another look and Maka quickly looked away. She could feel his eyes burning into the back of her neck.

**He's worried about you**

So?

_So tell him to get lost_

Why?

_Because then you can be alone_

**But you don't want to be alone**

_Yes she does_

Stop it!

"Maka here comes Nygus," Liz nudged the depressed teen. "Looks like she has your schedule."

Maka shook her head to clear it and looked over to where Liz was pointing vaguely. The brown skinned nurse was walking over with a piece of paper in her hand and Tsubaki following behind. It was only now that Maka realised the stuttering teen hadn't been at the table. Neither was BlackStar come to think of it. No one had offered any explanation or been vaguely worried so it must have been normal.

"Hello Maka, you look a bit tired. Didn't sleep well last night?" Nygus all but picked Maka to pieces in seconds.

"Uh I slept ok." Maka muttered, looking down and willing her cheeks to stay pale. The blush would have surely given her away.

"Right," Nygus gave her a long look. Soul glanced at her again and now Kid was, a frown plastered on his face. "Well here's your schedule. Please see me if you have any complaints." She walked off with Tsubaki trailing after her, the shy girl waving before she left.

"What's Tsubaki doing?" Maka questioned, slightly curious as to why the girl hadn't sat down with her friends.

_Why do you care? _

I…don't know

_Do you want to tease her? I can help_

…No

_You paused_

…No

_And again_

Shut up!

_Or what? You'll cry?_

…No

**Leave her alone. She wants to help the girl**

I do?

_See! She doesn't know what she wants. That's why her parents hate her!_

"SHUT UP!" Maka screamed out loud. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" With a swipe of her hand, Maka sent her bowl flying which smashed to the floor sending shards of pottery and splatters of yoghurt flying.

"Maka?" Liz was backing away whilst she shielded a scared Patty behind her. "Calm down girl. You'll upset Jaqueline with the noise."

"Make them shut up." Maka begged. "Please Liz, please."

"I…I don't know what you mean." The teen's eyes were shifting back and forth, looking for a way to escape.

"The voices!" Maka cried. "They won't leave me alone!"

"Maka calm down. Everything will be alright." It was Soul! Soul who helped her to her feet. Soul who led her out of the room whilst everyone stared on. Soul who led her to Marie where Maka took one look at Marie's concerned face and burst into tears. It was Soul who slipped away whilst Maka tried and failed to not cry.

Marie sat the teen down in a comfy arm chair with a blanket and cup of hot chocolate which Maka ignored. Her tears had dried up now though her eyes were still red and puffy. The girl licked her dry lips and stared around the room awkwardly, taking in the bright posters, pictures and books.

"So Maka, tell me everything." Marie said gently. "I need to know or you can never go home. You've been managing up until now. What happened?"

"I don't…I decided to pretend to get better." Maka sighed, sick of the act she was failing to keep. It was hopeless. They obviously didn't believe her. "But then there were these voices. I don't know where they came from but they're in my head. There's two of them. They keep talking to me, telling me things…" She broke off.

"Telling you what things?" Marie asked, her hand flying across a note pad, pen in grasp. Maka found herself not upset about the fact that Marie was analysing her and writing down everything she said.

"Telling me things that are true." Maka wailed. "They're both true. And I hurt Kid and Tsubaki and Soul and everyone and I hurt myself and I don't know what to say and I scared Jaqueline. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm scared. I'm letting my parents down. I'm letting everyone down. What gives me the right to take my life? I just don't know and no one will give me answers. It's not fair. I didn't ask for this! How do I get better? I'm sorry I couldn't be better!"

Silence fell over the small office. Marie stopped writing and put down the pad. She didn't look annoyed though. She just looked sad and very weary like she'd been fighting a battle for a long time only to lose at the last moment. Maka looked down at her hands. She suddenly felt very hot, like she was suffocating. She hadn't meant to blurt everything out. It just…happened.

"I…I'm sorry," Maka muttered. "I'll leave."

"No Maka it's alright," Marie seemed to have found her voice. "I was just surprised and a little upset that you feel that way. No one should have to be that upset."

Maka stayed silent, unsure of what to say or how to reply. She didn't deserve it? But…why else would her parents leave her alone? Were they testing her?

"Maka you also asked how do you get better just before." Marie said softly.

"I did?" Maka couldn't remember half of what she said; just that she felt more…relaxed. Like she'd dropped something she'd been carrying for a long time. She said everything she wanted to say.

"Yes and well, I could help you if you'd give me the chance." Marie offered, holding out a hand to Maka and smiling. She was so sincere, so gentle that Maka felt like crying again. Was this what it was like to have a mother who loved you?

"Um…I'd like that." Maka said shyly before sitting up straighter. "I want to get better!"

"Great," Marie laughed. "First step, telling others."

…

"WHAT?!"

* * *

Maka stared awkwardly at the people sitting in the circle with her. Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, Soul, Kid and BlackStar. They were all quiet for once, fixing her with expectant looks. Marie was there too and Azusa. The stern therapist had been quietly talking with Marie and occasionally glancing over at Maka.

"So tell me again what we're doing." Maka grumbled, shooting uncomfortable looks at each person.

"Telling others why you're here is something that helps you admit your problems. Kid skipped this step." Here Azusa shot the teen a glare who replied with a sheepish smile and an awkward shrug. "But apart from that, everyone has at least told 2 or more people why they're here. We find it helps when it comes to therapy. And that's what you're about to do Maka if you feel up to it."

Maka took a moment to think about this. Was she ready to tell everyone? If it meant she could get better and please her parents then she had to do it. But how would they react? None of them had depression right.

"Whenever you're ready Maka." Marie broke the train of thought with her gentle words. Maka wanted to shoot her the evil eye but she resisted, instead taking a deep breath and standing up.

"Well I'm in here…I'm in here because I…" Maka just couldn't get the words out. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't say it. Why…damn it why?

**Think of getting better Maka**

_Or just stay silent. It's better that way_

Why?

_Because then no one will have to hear your voice_

**Don't let it win Maka. Say it. Tell everyone. They deserve to know. **

"I'm in here because I'm depressed and I tried to kill myself." Maka said in a rush. She could feel tears leaking out of her eyes. "I jumped off a building."

Silence fell over the room much like it had when Maka had poured out her heart to Marie. Suddenly the teen couldn't bear it. She turned and ran from the room, ignoring the shouts for her to come back. She couldn't bear it anymore.

_What were you expecting? Hugs? Congratulations? _

I don't know

**Well that's ok right? Not knowing is part of the adventure of life**

_Adventures often end in death_

They do?

_Oh yes. Every trip is doomed to fail._

**Don't listen! Don't believe it!**

"But then who do I believe?" Maka asked. "Who's going to tell me the truth?"

"Maka wait!" A voice yelled, familiar yet hard to place. Maka risked a look over her shoulder as she ran and saw Liz chasing after her.

"Go away!" Maka yelled. "Why are you following me? You don't trust me!"

"I was sent to bring you back." Liz called back as she tried to catch up to Maka. "It was just a random choice."

"I don't want to go back!" Maka protested loudly. "You all think I'm a freak. You sat there and said nothing after I'd just made the biggest confession of my life."

_That's right. Push her away. She's not worth the trouble_

"We didn't know what to say Maka!" Liz shot back. "Maka WAIT!" The volume of the shout made Maka freeze though she refused to turn around and look at Liz.

"We didn't know what to say." Liz repeated. "What could we say to make you feel better? We all have problems but we can't all relate. It's not like we know what it's like to be depressed. We all have different issues, different reasons why we're here but we share one main thing in common right now. We're worried for you Maka. Tsubaki's crying. BlackStar is actually silent! And you're scaring my sister! And you're scaring me." Her voice softened. "I don't want to see you like this Maka. It's bad enough seeing Kid like this. Don't make me…don't make _us _go through this. Maka please come back."

Maka slowly turned to see the blonde teen standing there, tears also leaking down her cheeks.

"I know it hurts Maka. I know it's not fair. I grew up on the streets. I did anything I could to keep my sister safe. And look where we ended up." Liz laughed bitterly. "But if you keep it inside you, if you push us away well…you just make it worse. For everyone. So just come back with me and we can all talk about it. Together."

Maka took a step forward and saw Liz smile, one of relief and something else Maka couldn't distinguish. And for some reason, Maka hated herself even more. She'd made the paranoid girl cry. That wasn't right. She was here to solve her own problems, not cause more for the others.

Maka turned and ran again. And this time she didn't stop until she was sure she wouldn't be found.

* * *

_It's silent again. Her parents must be out. Like always._

_There's no note on the fridge. When she opens it however, a ready-made pasta meal sits there in its cardboardy goodness glory. The fridge holds nothing else she could make a meal out of unless she felt like salad dressings and blocks of cheese._

_She ignores the pasta, not hungry as always. She's learnt to survive on little. She'd not underfed…but her choices are often dismal. _

_She walks down the corridor towards her parents' bedroom. Dust coats the floorboards. No one has cleaned in a while. The door creaks as she pushes it but it does little to shatter the blanket of silence that has settled over the house. _

_She wants to keep pushing the door until the creaks build up…but she can't. She needs to use her time wisely. She needs to see if her parents have any evidence of loving her when she was little. Perhaps they loved her when she was a baby but she did something to upset them. _

_She's done this before, with different sections of the room. Today she's going to look in their bedside tables. Maybe they'll have the odd card, photo, drawing. Maybe she'll find some proof that she's loved._

_Her hands tremble as she approaches her dad's bedside table. The top holds a lamp and a clock. There's no sign of anyone using it. It might as well be a bedside table in a hotel. _

_Detached…_

_She opens the single draw. Spare contacts, a few odd receipts. Dust…lots of it. No sign of anything to do with her._

_She shuts the draw door with a thud, welcoming the brief sound before silence falls again. It is as if sound is someone beneath a blanket, the blanket being silence. When you move, the blanket moves with you before adjusting. When you make noise, the silence is broken before returning fully repaired. _

_It's time to check her mother's side. She's still clinging to hope, still believing she'll find something. She opens the door more hurriedly this time, desperate to find something. _

_A lace handkerchief, a couple of copper bangles, a pair of scissors and a tube of moisturiser. _

_Nothing…_

_Just like there was nothing with the TV cabinet or the walk in robe or the tall boy or the antique chest. _

_There'll never be anything._

_Because they don't love her._

_And they never will._

* * *

Maka woke up to darkness. It didn't scare her. She was used to it. At home, she often fell asleep to pass time because there was nothing else to do. She'd ran and ran after she'd left Liz until she'd found a store cupboard. This must be where she was now.

But when she sat up, she realised she was lying in her bed and _that _scared her. Who had moved her? How had they found her?

_Little baby all alone, all afraid _

What?

_Got some bad news for you_

What is it?

_You really want to know?_

…Yes

_Are you sure?_

**Push it out Maka. Don't listen**

But the news…it's bad right?

_Very bad_

"Maka!" Marie burst into the room. "Oh good you're awake. I'm sorry dear but this is an emergency. Kid is missing!"

**Short chapter. So sorry for being short.**

**Please review! Also I kind of get caught up with the voices. They're so fun to write!**


	9. There's a Kid on the loose

**Sorry I Couldn't Be Better 9- There's a Kid on the Loose**

**Well here's the next chapter. During the time between my posted chapters, I went to AVCON, my cities Anime and Video Game Convention. I cosplayed Aladdin from Magi. A lot of people wanted my picture and me and my friends had an amazing time. **

**Sadly sadly all my friends are a year younger than me and are on camp. I was crying when they left. I miss them so damn much. But they're back tomorrow!**

**Thanks go out to**

**Hoshi Star88: Um…this may sound weird to you but what's Phobos…do you mean voice?  
Phantom Wish: I always love putting the name of my story in my stories. It's a habit of mine XD  
ChildrenAreMySoulFood: And here you go! XD Such enthusiasm  
sabrina bina: Should I be happy of apologetic that I almost made you cry? And your favourite? I'm so touched.  
Guest: Yeah, I was going to use someone other than Liz but her name just ended up being typed and the rest came easily.  
Laylay: Smiles again! I love the smiles!  
TRIX19: Um…sorry for the cliffy *smiles sheepishly* **

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater is so totally mine. Along with the Eiffel tower and every single Polly Pocket ever made…I love Polly Pockets. **

The shock came first.

It was like when you forget about the small drop between the ground and the footpath and find yourself falling. Your heart jolts and it's all you can do to not scream and run around saying you nearly died.

The disbelief came second.

It's when someone tells you something that couldn't possibly be true. Like there was no way your cat ran away to live in Nepal and your best friend does not sell drugs on weekends from nine till five.

The guilt came third.

The sickening feeling that what just happened was because you did something. That regret you have for the events you caused which will haunt you forever.

"Missing?" Maka managed to get out. "What? How?"

Marie shook her head frantically. It was obvious she wanted to run out and keep on searching but had to stay behind to explain everything to Maka. This didn't stop the therapist from saying everything in a rush though.

"It was after you went missing yourself. Soul found you in the cupboard, God knows how, I can't be worried about that now but then when it was time for group session, Kid didn't turn up and he wasn't in all of his usual places. We've searched the floor but we can't find him and the security cameras have been playing up so we can't track him that way. Currently the staff are on the other floors but it looks like he's not there either"

Maka quickly got up and smoothed her rumpled clothes, a habit she'd picked up long ago and never been able to drop.

"I want to help," She said firmly. "Have you looked outside?"

"Well no dear but I'm not sure how he could get out. He seemed very upset after you confessed."

Maka frowned at this. So it was her fault. She'd obviously scared Kid off or something. Maybe he hated her now and didn't want to be in the same building as her. Marie however, had noticed the frown and activated her therapist mind reading power.

"Kid has been through a lot Maka." Marie said gently. "He doesn't hate you, he can relate to you and he's obviously worked himself into one of his states because you reminded him of something he'd rather forget."

_It's still your fault_

I Know

_You're so messed up that you messed him up_

I know

"Well follow me Maka if you'd like to help." Marie's gentle and musical voice banished the cruel and harsh one that Maka was hearing. The teen nodded and followed close behind the therapist as she swept out the door.

As soon as Maka stepped into the corridor, she could see people wandering around calling Kid's name and opening random doors to peer inside. She was sure he wouldn't be in any of the rooms, he seemed too smart to hide in such obvious places.

"Hey Maka!" A male's voice called. "You're awake!"

Maka looked over to see Soul waving from the end of the corridor. He looked annoyed and frazzled. Kid and Soul were close weren't they? That must be why Soul was so worried.

"Uh yeah," Maka hurried over, trying not to run. "Listen I'm…I'm really sorry."

Soul took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his air. He looked like he was trying to think of a polite way to respond. Maka shifted awkwardly and waited for the yelling to begin.

"Kid's been through a lot," Soul said instead, mirroring Marie's words. "So honestly, this is a common occurrence. Anything can set him off."

"So you're not angry?" Maka asked, crossing her fingers and toes. The look Soul shot her showed he was anything but that.

"No I'm not angry," He hissed, his mood changing drastically. "I'm furious. You hurt my friend. But…" His voice lost the sharp edge and returned his more casual tone. "You have problems too. That's why you're here. So I can't judge you. In this place, we judge nobody."

* * *

Maka stared out a window at the ground below. This was the first time she was seeing the outside facilities. She couldn't shake of the feeling that Kid was down there.

The backyard of sorts was a mess of random objects that seemed out of place. There was a swing set, seesaw and merry-go-round in the playground department. Benches were scattered here and there, some intricately designed whilst others looked like a baby painted them or they were going to fall apart at any moment. There was a fountain larger than any Maka had ever seen. The rest of the area was either made up of small grassy clearings or foliage.

There was no familiar figure down there but there was plenty of shrubbery to hide behind. And there looked like there was a small grass hut right at the bottom of the garden, right near the fence. Kid could be there.

The search for Kid was still going on after 2 hours of him being missing. No matter who Maka asked, no one wanted to search in the garden. They kept telling her that they were adamant he wasn't down there. This angered Maka. If they were professionals like they claimed then they would check the garden.

"M-Maka," A familiar stuttering voice that came from nowhere almost caused Maka to jump right out of her skin.

"Tsubaki," Maka acknowledged instead, trying to calm her racing heart. "What's up?"

"Well…Soul t-told me you think K-Kid is in the garden." Tsubaki seemed even more nervous than she usually was if that was possible.

"Yeah," Maka tugged at one of her pigtails absently, her gaze never leaving the garden. "It's just a hunch that I can't seem to let go."

"W-well then Soul says hurry up." Tsubaki suddenly seemed more confident after hearing Maka's confirmation. "We're going down there!"

* * *

Maka cast her eyes over the group that was sneaking down to the garden or aiding in the mission that was sneaking down to the garden.

BlackStar was there (he was loud enough to ensure you wouldn't miss him). As he'd already boasted a thousand times, his job was to distract the nurses and doctors so that they could sneak down. He'd finally told Maka that he was diagnosed with impulse control disorder. Maka wasn't exactly sure what he meant (basically she had no idea what impulse control disorder was) but he assured her that getting in trouble was a common occurrence because of his disorder.

Soul was sneaking down with Maka. He'd come up with the plan without any help. Maka had tried to hide how impressed she was with his idea and the loyalty he had to Kid. She thought she hidden her admiration until Soul had smirked at her and told her to thank him later.

Liz was keeping a watch out the window that had the best view of the garden. Her job was to distract anyone who came strolling along who looked like they would spot Maka and Soul.

Patty was tagging along because she didn't want to leave Liz (she was in a clingy mood at the moment) and being bipolar was also a good excuse for causing distractions.

Tsubaki wasn't really doing anything but she was ok with that. She was however, part of the last resort plan (major last resort) which involved her fainting if everything was going wrong so all attention would be drawn to her. Tsubaki had assured Maka that she fainted often. The girl in question was in no way reassure by this.

"I still don't see why we can't just ask to go to the garden or beg and scream until the nurse's check it themselves." Liz said dryly, running her fingers through Patty's hair in a comforting movement. "Throwing fits usually work."

"BlackStar already tried that." Soul looked over at the wild boy who gave Soul a thumbs up in return, obviously proud of his attempt.

"So then we say we spotted Kid down there and that they should look." Liz apparently wasn't all that happy with the plan Soul had created. Maka could sense a rivalry between the two.

"They'll know we're lying." Soul shot back. He was adamant that the plan would work.

"Not if Maka told Marie." Liz said smugly, glad she'd found a way to tear Soul's plan to shreds.

"Why me?" Maka was not at all happy to be suddenly brought into the conversation.

"Because you're new, you haven't got a reputation as a trouble maker like most of us but you're not timid enough to be bullied into saying you saw Kid by us like Tsubaki."

"Wait what? You bullied Tsubaki?"

"It's a long story." Liz said airily, flapping a hand as if she could push Maka's question away.

"Fine," Maka snapped. "If that's what you want to do then I'll do it."

Soul seemed upset that his plan wasn't going to be used and BlackStar was grumpy that he didn't get to distract the nurses but all the girls were content with the new plan. There was no chance of getting in trouble this way.

"There's M-Marie," Tsubaki said, peering around the corner before ducking back.

"Everyone split," Soul ordered, still determined to be in control. "It's suspicious if we're all together. Tsubaki, stay with Maka."

There was no reason for the last part of the order but everyone obeyed. Liz dragged Patty along to a nearby bathroom. BlackStar cartwheeled down the corridor and vanished around the corner. Soul pulled a face at Maka (jerk) and ran into the games room which was right near where they'd been gathered.

"Ah Maka, Tsubaki," Marie said warmly as she rounded the corner. Her voice however, did not match her frazzled appearance. The missing patient was obviously the sole thought on her mind.

"Marie I think I saw Kid," Maka jumped right in. "I was just looking in them games room with Tsubaki and when we left, I looked out the window and saw a black shape down there."

"Well," Marie frowned. "I don't know how he could have got down there but since the cameras are out, there is a possibility."

"You should at least check," Maka implored. "I mean it's one of the only places he could be."

"Hmmm," Marie made a humming sound and shot a quick look out over the garden. "Kid does like going out there."

"Then you should check." Maka said innocently though her voice gave nothing away. "I mean there's no harm in looking is there?"

"Ok," Marie let loose a dazzling smile. "If he is down there, I owe you one Maka."

Owe? What did that mean?

**It means she's indebted to you. If you ever need something, she'll help you. Within reason of course**

No one's ever owed me one before

_Because they hate you. The silly girl's caught up in her relief for someone more important. She'll take it back when she stops to think_

What?

_It's true. She's not happy with you. Who would be happy with you?_

"Maka are you coming down with me?" Yet again Marie sent the voices spiralling away. "After all, Kid can connect with you."

"But…I'm the one who scared him off." Maka hung her head. "Ask Soul,"

And before Marie could protest, Maka turned and ran again. She didn't deserve to go find Kid. It was her fault they were in this situation in the first place. If Maka went down there, Kid would probably run away again.

_Of course he would. He hates you_

I know

_He despises you. He ran away from you_

I know

_Keep running away Maka. Don't let anyone close to you. Or you'll hurt them_

A part of Maka was asking where the other voice was, the nice voice. But as she rounded a corner to see her room, she found all she wanted to do was bury herself in her covers and let everything fade away.

The voices could go stuff themselves for all she cared. Right now, she needed the familiar comfort of a dreamless sleep and the warmth that came from sleeping during the day. She would worry about Kid later. After all, her hunch had to be true. He would be found and she could…what could she do?

**Apologise. It's so easy Maka**

Ah, that's where the other voice was.

**He'll forgive you, I'm sure**

I can't…I can't face him right now. Honestly, I don't think I can ever face him again

**Sleep on it Maka. Everything will be clearer then. Trust me**

You're just a voice in my head. How can I trust you?

Maka received no reply to her question so with a sigh, she all but fell into bed and closed her eyes, begging the numbness of sleep would fall over her and she'd be able to relax.

Sadly shouts from the corridor stopped this from happening and with a groan, the depressed teen reluctantly got up and opened the door.

And was greeted with a most bizarre sight.

Sid was staggering around with Patty wrapped around his head, her legs curled neatly around his neck. Liz was scampering after the swaying man, telling Patty to be careful. BlackStar bounded alongside them, cheering. Maka was sure that if he had pompons, he'd be waving them enthusiastically and performing some crazy cheer routine. Nygus seemed to be shielding a terrified Tsubaki from the mess. The shy girl was trembling like crazy and to Maka, it seemed like she was going to faint at any moment. This was probably why Nygus was doing her best to protect her.

And trailing after the group, a small smile on his face was Soul. He did not fit in with the chaos that was happening right outside Maka's room but that was just his style.

"What's going on?!" Maka finally yelled, realising she needed an explanation for this…mess.

"WE FOUND KID!" Was the very loud yet very clear response she was given.

"Damn," Ox suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor. "I was hoping it would be something important."

'**Gee Ox way to ruin a moment,' says the author as she types in the sentence. (also sorry so short)**

_**PLEASE READ THIS**_

So as we all probably know, the world is a terrible place right now. Our teacher today just stood up in class and basically told us we were terrible people for saying our lives suck and that we were cold and stuff.

I get that you know, I really do. We are privileged people and we're a lot better off than most people.

But the teacher also doesn't know that it's what she was saying that drove me to depression, that drove me to cut. Being told we're terrible horrible people because we get caught up in our own pain is one of the reasons I became depressed. It's an indirect reason as to why I'm writing this story basically.

So wherever you are, whoever you are I want you to know that _**your pain is important**__. _Don't feel like you can't be sad. You're not horrible for caring about yourself. Just because you're family isn't dead or divorced, just because you're not homeless doesn't mean you don't have problems and it doesn't make your problems any less important.

Thankyou for reading this.


	10. Forgive and Mess Up

**Sorry I Couldn't Be Better 10- Forgive and Mess Up**

**Guys chapter 10! We've reached a land mark! 59 reviews, 53 follows and 25 favourites! I love you all!**

**Thanks go out to**

**Hoshi star88: I knew the name sounded familiar *does the clench fist and look happy expression*  
Phantom Wish: Your review touched my heart. If I met you, I'd hug you! Instead…*virtual hug*  
ChildrenAreMySoulFood: Awwwwwwwww *does happy dance* Your review…just…many smile  
TRIX19: *re-reads chapter* Oops…I'll edit that when I have time to…but anyway…FRIENDSHIP!  
Mjus: Roofs are dangerous O.O And you'll get to see if Kid is alright now. Also when I was reading your review I had this image of you having tea with a spider like 'do have a biscuit Mr Legs.'  
Dwmalove: No prob bro!  
sabrina bina: Yay! Amazing chapter! Wooooo!  
Guest 1: They were against it because they didn't think he'd be there. And thankyou for your kind words! They really help  
GakuenLME: Yup, I shall fix!  
S1T2A3RA: Awwwww you're making me blush like crazy. And to answer your question, so far it doesn't follow anime or manga but it could change if it fits into the current story idea. I'll let you know if it does  
bottlecaps: Wow what do I say to a review this awesome. I'm honestly at a loss for words. I hope your recovery is going as well as mine  
Guest 2: Thanks for the lovely comments. I'm really sorry but this won't be KiMa. I don't think I'm going to do any pairings. I'll probably just hint.  
Bug: It's no problem *winks***

**And to all my lovely fans who favourite and follow. You seriously mean a lot to me and I appreciate you all**

**Disclaimer: Angels sang out in a miraculous chorus as down from the heavens descended…Toph Hitsugaya to say she didn't own Soul Eater (if anyone can guess what the reference in this disclaimer is, they can recommend something and I'll try to do it)**

They weren't allowed to see Kid at first. Marie had bundled him away to the infirmary because of how long he'd been exposed to the cold. Winter was coming and spending copious amounts of time out in the harsh weather had done nothing to improve the boy's health. He'd been found hiding in the little grass hut Maka had been suspicious of, huddled up in a vain attempt to protect himself from the cold.

Maka was waiting with her group (yes they were her group now, she'd decided this after realising how relieved she was that Kid was safe) for news on the boy. Right now Marie and the medical nurse (not the therapists) were tending to him and because of how loud the group usually was, they weren't allowed inside. There were no shouts coming from the room so either Kid was unconscious or not in a large amount of pain. Or maybe he just refused to scream.

Everyone was fidgeting or doing something in an attempt to take their mind of their friend in the room.

After trying to attack Ox after he'd sneered at Kid, BlackStar had been given a firm telling off by Sid and told that as an exercise, he should try to sit still for at least ten minutes. Maka could see the sweat on his forehead as he sat on his hands and stared straight ahead, desperately trying to carry out the task. It was the longest Maka had ever seen him sit still for and it was almost spooky.

Tsubaki was interlocking her fingers, twisting them together before pulling them apart and starting again with a new position. Her hair occasionally became tangled with the fingers and she'd stop briefly to comb through the knots and brush the strands aside. She was obviously very nervous but then again, she apparently always was.

Liz was whispering quietly with Patty, the younger of the sisters flapping her hands as she explained something in great detail to the paranoid teen. Liz kept trying to keep her arms still, obviously aware of the tense mood to which Patty was oblivious. Still, Patty would sometimes scare everyone with a loud exclamation.

Soul was slouched casually in a chair he'd dragged from a store room. There were store rooms scattered all over the floor and the area surrounding the infirmary was no exception to this bizarre rule. Maka wasn't exactly sure what the boy was thinking. She'd thought she'd figured Soul out but it seemed there were many layers to him and peeling them away was a hard task.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the door swung open and Marie stepped out. Her smile was tight and her fists were clenched though she looked bravely at everyone. Soul surprised everyone by talking first.

"How is he?" The solemn boy asked.

"Well," Marie frowned. "He's fine physically but…"

"Mentally," Soul muttered harshly, his fists now matching Marie's as he processed the news. "Can we see him?"

Marie paused at this, her frown apparent as she struggled between saying yes or no. Her gaze lingered on Soul before sliding over to Maka who blinked back in surprise.

"He wants to see Soul," Marie said hesitantly, shooting a glance at BlackStar who stared back hopefully. "And Maka."

Maka was expecting BlackStar to lunge at her and scream about how unfair it was. The blue haired boy obviously wanted to see Soul very badly and he'd known the boy for longer then Maka.

_And because of you, he can't. It's your fault…as usual _

I know but…SHUT UP!

Maka surprised herself by shouting in her head at the voice, begging it to be quiet just for once because she needed to focus on Kid right now. The voice was right of course but…she just wanted it to leave her alone, just for a moment. Then it could come back and feed her the truth she didn't want to face.

Maka tore her attention away from the weird voice in her head and back to BlackStar, tensing up as she waited for him to lash out. And he did, just not in the way Maka was expecting.

She was expecting him to throw himself at her and tackle her to the ground, screaming and shouting about unfair it was. Instead, what she got was cold, cruel and calculating words that seemed to dig right into her.

"Figures," BlackStar laughed harshly. "The depressive boy and the depressive girl. Someone write a musical, I can smell the ratings."

"BlackStar," Tsubaki gasped, shocked at the cruel words the boy she admired had just spoken. "T-take it back."

"Why?" BlackStar spread his arms wide open, a twisted grin plastered on his face. "I…I'm just telling the truth!" His last sentence was a desperate cry.

Silence fell as he shouted this last part. Maka wasn't sure how to react. She was frozen in place, unable to move as BlackStar's words swirled around in her head. The truth. That was right. It was the truth. She was a messed up teen who had no real purpose in life but to keep moving blindly until her bones grew weak and she fell to the floor to never move again.

"Come on BlackStar," Sid popped up. "Let's go get some air." The attendant led the loudly complaining boy away. Maka stared after them, her limbs still refusing to move her. If her legs weren't so stiff, she probably would have crumpled to the ground.

"Don't let him get to you." Liz said sympathetically. "He really can't help it."

"I know," Maka muttered but truth be told, she didn't. She didn't understand anybody here. As soon as she thought she had worked something out, somebody messed up the puzzle and she had to start all over again.

"Come on Maka," Soul heaved himself of his chair. "Kid's waiting."

"Right coming," Maka scurried over to Soul who in turn moved over to Marie and the therapist opened the door to the infirmary. Soul moved through quickly, a boy with a goal and Maka hesitantly followed, her head bowed. Marie shut the door behind them, sealing them of from the therapist and everyone else. Maka kept her gaze on the floor as she walked further into the room.

When Maka finally looked up, her eyes took in a neat if small room containing 4 beds of which 3 were unoccupied. The fourth held Kid of course. There were no weird machines or anything to show that Kid was seriously hurt but he was rugged up in numerous blankets. Sleepy eyes peered out at Soul and Maka and suddenly the girl wanted to squeal and call him cute. That was a weird sensation. She'd never wanted to do that before.

"Hi Soul, Maka," Kid acknowledged them with a nod. His voice sounded young but it had a kind of air to it, like he was a fifty year old man returning from a battle. He sounded weary and tired. "Sorry about…about all of this."

"It's ok Kid, I understand." Soul stepped forward to stand right next to the bed. Maka took a step forward but stopped, unsure why Kid wanted her if it was her fault.

"I wanted to see you Maka so I could apologise." Was everyone in this hospital psychic?

"What do you mean?" Maka kept her voice calm and steady though her hands shook.

"You're probably blaming yourself," Kid explained. "And you shouldn't. It's my fault. Me and my problems. So please, don't think it's your fault."

What Kid was saying was rather bold. Maka could be blaming him rather than him her. Maka could be offended by Kid's interpretation of the matter. Maka could brush him off and tell him that he was looking too deep into things and that she was fine.

But Maka could also stand there, frozen as Kid's words swirled around in her head and her hands opened and closed as if grasping for something.

Because Kid was right. He'd hit the nail on the head. He'd worked out something, heard something and he'd easily known what it meant. He knew Maka had been blaming herself and he knew he needed to apologise. In a way, it was sad.

The only person who understood Maka was just as messed up as she was, if not more. She'd interacted with people in the hospital more then she'd done at all in her entire life. And she'd been there about 2 days. It was ridiculous. It was stupid. It was pitiful. It was…

**Nice…**

Nice to be cared about. Nice to have people who came to see her. Nice to have people apologise her. Nice to be invited, nice to be involved.

The hospital _was_ good for her.

'_I'm just telling the truth!'_

BlackStar's words floated back to her, his harsh voice ripping apart the image Maka had just created.

CRASH!

Shards shattering everywhere. The moment ruined, torn down and falling. With one sentence, one memory, everything falls. She'd convinced herself; she thought she could get better. And it hurt so much now, now that it was gone. It wasn't fair. She'd taken a step and she'd been pulled right back.

Maka blinked her tears away and stared into Kid's hopeful eyes. She realised he wanted her to say something in return to his apology. He seemed apprehensive but…hopeful. That was an emotion Maka hadn't seen in a while and especially not directed at her.

"Kid…I'm sorry too. I'll forgive you if…you'll forgive me?" Maka also realised how much she wanted Kid to forgive her. Here in the hospital, she didn't want to be hated. She didn't want to hurt people who were, to put it rudely, messed up in the head.

"I have nothing to forgive you for Maka but if it helps then…I forgive you." Kid said almost shyly, shrinking back into his blankets much like a turtle retreats into its shell.

"I forgive you too." Maka said genuinely and was glad to see Kid's lips twitch in a smile. The boy then turned to Soul who had been standing there awkwardly whilst Maka and Kid sorted out their current issue.

"And Soul, sorry for worrying you. I guess you thought it was going to end up like last time."

Like last time? Maka's mind whirled as she tried to figure out what Kid meant. If her train of thought was a video game, the words 'game over' or something like that would be flashing. She had no idea what Kid was talking about.

"Ah it's ok Kid," Soul shot a quick look at Maka who inwardly bristled at the almost accusing glare. Outwardly though, she blinked back causing Soul to turn back to Kid.

"Hey guys," Marie suddenly burst into the room, breaking Kid off mid-sentence as he said something about symmetry. "Kiddo needs some rest so you'll have to leave."

Soul shot one look at Marie, waved goodbye to Kid and dragged Maka from the room. Maka wiggled her fingers a bit as a feeble attempt of waving and then the door shut in their faces. The corridor was empty, the crowd that had previously been there having dispersed.

"Want to know why Marie did that?" Soul asked as he started to walk, hands shoved in pockets. Maka hurried to catch up.

"Why?" She asked, curious now that Soul had brought it up.

"Because we were in there for too long alone." Soul explained. "It's an unwritten rule here. People like Kid and you and occasionally me and a few others here can't be left alone for long periods of time without at least one person checking on them. So don't be bothered if a nurse bursts in on you randomly. They mean well. Trust me."

"How can I trust you, I barely know you." Maka said absently, not really aware of what she was saying and missing the eyebrow Soul rose at her.

"Well whatever pigtails, I have stuff to do, places to be and BlackStar to avoid. _That_ you can trust." With this odd remark, Soul picked up his pace and had soon left Maka behind, standing in the middle of the corridor and wandering what to do.

()

Dinner was strangely subdued that night what with Kid being absent. BlackStar sat with Ox and the two spent ages whispering together and earning themselves suspicious looks from the nurses. Soul sat alone and when Maka asked why, Liz just explained he did that sometimes if he was in a thoughtful mood.

Tsubaki didn't speak once during dinner and even Patty was quiet, her food towers not as elaborate as the ones Maka had seen. Liz occasionally said something but apart from that, the only sounds in the room where whispers and the clink of cutlery.

"How was Kid?" Liz finally asked once a conversation finally broke out at Kim's table. Maka stopped pushing her peas around her plate and stared at her glass of water as if it might provide her with some answers.

"We didn't get time to ask." She said finally. "Marie burst in on us before we could."

"So you don't know anything?" Liz pressed, emphasizing her sentence with a jab of her fork in Maka's direction.

"Well he seemed alright." Maka cast her mind back to the meeting. "I mean he was pretty pale and rugged up in a ton of blankets but there was so special medication or anything."

Liz was silent for a moment as she chewed on her lamb before setting her fork down and giving Maka an exasperated look.

"I'm not stupid, I knew he wasn't hurt. I mean mentally. Could you tell anything?"

"I don't know much about Kid." Maka found herself sounding defensive. "Heck I don't know much about any of you. I don't know how you act and what's normal for you and I don't even know why half of you are here so no, I cannot tell you if Kid was ok mentally because I haven't the slightest idea. Go ask Soul if you're that desperate since he and Kid seem so close."

"Geeze Maka I was just asking." Liz snapped back. "I'm not some smarty pants like you. That didn't spring to my mind."

"Well stop to think next time." Maka said coolly and Liz shot her the finger in return, quick as a wink.

_Well, well, well Maka. Pushing people away are we?_

No…

_Oh so you're just naturally a bitch_

No!

_Then you are pushing her away_

Get lost

_Nope_

What?

_I said no_

"God just lay off me!" Maka found herself snapping even though Liz was only just opening her mouth. "Life hasn't been some walk in the park for me so don't make things worse."

_Poor baby Maka, worse than everyone else. Their problems don't matter_

What? No, that's not what I said

_Liz isn't stupid. She knows what you mean_

But I didn't mean it

_It'll still hurt_

Maka focused back on Liz's face and saw the hurt and bewilderment in the teen's eyes.

"Maka I know life hasn't been easy for you." She said softly. "But it hasn't been for anyone here. If it was then we wouldn't be here. No one here has pain that's any less important or more important than another's. We're all equals here and we're quite proud of it. So please think of that the next time you decide to start flinging around pity comments and looking down on people."

"What…no that wasn't what I meant." Maka stammered, turning to give Tsubaki a pleading look. The shy girl averted her eyes, choosing instead to stare intently at her bowl of soup.

"Come on Patty let's go." Liz said icily, standing up and waiting for her sister to follow lead. "If I don't calm down, I don't think even you can prevent a fight from starting out."

**This chapter was really hard to write for some reason which is why it's taken so long. I'm still not entirely happy with it but please enjoy!**


	11. Hiding Mysteries

**Sorry I Couldn't be Better 11- Hiding Mysteries **

**Here's the update! I hope it's good. I kinda had no idea where this was going. Also when I say Hiding Mysteries in the title, it means the mysteries are hiding, not that someone is hiding them. **

**Thanks are extended to**

**Phantom Wish: Many virtual hugs. And thankyou. I really try to make it real so to hear you say that means a lot. And Kid is so adorable XD  
ChildrenAreMySoulFood: Don't worry, epic Kid angst shall come  
Mjus: Wow thankyou. That's what I'm aiming for so thankyou so much! And I'm sure spiders would…  
GakuenLME: Nit-picking is fine, I rely on it. Though I couldn't see where I'd replaced Kid with Soul  
Puella Pulchra: Thanks!  
Dwmalove: Good wow or bad wow or shocked wow?  
Guest: Thankyou. I feel like Liz has a lot of potential if you write her really well  
sabrina bina: Mmmmm poor Kid and Maka. But I'm pretty sure I'll make things better  
INGENman: I love angst so I'm glad you think it's delicious  
shipperhere: Awww thanks hon  
Nerdangel1600: Mmmmmm my teacher can be an ass. She's very self-centred though sometimes she's ok and I'm glad you like  
Celestial Lightning: here's le update!  
bottlecaps: Wow…when I saw your review just wow. What you wrote just…it really helps you know.**

**And all my amazing people who favourite and follow, love y'all too, you know. You all really help!**

**Disclaimer: It's so clear to me now. Everything makes sense. I see the light, I see the truth. Soul Eater is not mine. **

_Footsteps made their way towards the room, a slight echo being created as the floorboards were pine and the corridor was devoid of anything. The occupant of the room curled into a ball, shielding their body as if scared of the approaching person. _

_The door slammed open and the person let out a squeak of fear, burrowing deeper under the covers as if the soft material would prevent what was about to happen. But their hopes were in vain as the covers were ripped away leaving them exposed. Cold air hit their body and they shivered, partly in fear as well. _

"_S-stop," Was the stuttering cry that came from the sudden exposure but like before, what they did was in vain. It didn't stop the hand from coming down, did nothing to prevent the yells of pain, didn't stop the tears that ran down their face, wetting the sheets and soaking into the mattress. _

"_Please!" They screamed, their pain making them desperate._

"_You dare beg you freak! I do not raise cowards!" A voice thundered and then the hand came rushing down with then times the force of the pervious slap._

Maka sat up in bed and screamed. She held the covers to her sweaty body and focused on trying to breathe properly. She chocked and gasped on sobs that she didn't want to escape from her mouth and eventually lay back down and tried to compose herself again.

What was that dream? What did it mean? It had nothing to do with her…did it? Maybe…maybe it was her deepest fears come true. She'd always been scared that her parents would start paying attention in a way she didn't want. Sometimes when her dad walked past her room, she would cower, afraid he'd march in and take his anger about bad days at work out on her.

She glanced over at her clock and saw with anger that it was five in the morning. Not late enough to actually wake up but not early enough to wander around without being seen by anyone. Doctors and nurses would probably be up or getting up. She didn't want questions directed at her, not after the nightmare. They'd apply their magical mind reading powers and expose her deepest fears. They were deep for a reason. She didn't want to share them.

She tugged at the grey tank top she'd been wearing to bed as if she could fan away the sweat she was drenched in. What should she do? Maybe she should try to drop off to sleep again. But would the nightmare hit her again? It hadn't ever happened before but there was a possibility. That she could fall asleep and have it all come rushing back.

Another glance at the clocked showed that 3 minutes had passed as she zoned out. Now Maka was really annoyed. Why was time moving along so slowly? Breakfast was sure to be awkward but it was better than just lying here. Maybe she should read one of the few books she'd brought. She hadn't really expected to be at the hospital for long so she hadn't brought many with her and she did want to save them for when she really needed them. Was now one of these moments?

A sound came from outside her door and she froze, pulling the sheets up close to her chin and closing her eyes to slits so she could see out but give the appearance that she was asleep. The handle of her door jiggled and then it was sliding inwards, making no sound as it slid across the carpet. Maka felt her heart start to race. Someone was in her room, someone who didn't want her to know they were there. She sucked in a breath but let it out, trying to breathe normally in order to give the illusion of sleep.

The figure approached her bed, leaning right over till Maka thought she might have to give up pretending and smack them away. Before she could make a decision however, the person abruptly recoiled and began to pace back and forth, their feet making no nose, any sound they made muffled against the carpet.

Was it possible that it was a patient sleepwalking? Soul and Kid had mentioned that most people didn't sleep or struggled with it. Perhaps the occupant of her room was one of these cases. Maka suddenly felt tired and she closed her eyes. Perhaps she could sneak in a couple of more hours of sleep. If the person didn't mean her any harm, she was fine to drift off right? Then, the person started to talk.

At first it was just absent mumbles, the intruder obviously just talking to themselves. She heard the words how and sorry along with something about being unsure. Then, the level of the voice increased and the tone turned somewhat desperate.

"Sorry…didn't mean to. I'm really sorry Maka, really I am." Maka tried to hold back a gasp. Someone was apologising to her. The voice was still rather quiet and muffled so she couldn't tell who it was. It could be Liz! In fact it made sense that it was Liz right? Was the girl regretting last night? Maka suddenly wanted to smile. Liz was her friend again.

Liz broke off after in the middle of another string of apologies and quietly left the room leaving Maka to flip over and burry her head in her pillow, overcome with emotions.

()

Maka almost skipped into the dining hall when it was breakfast time. She was positively glowing. She hurried over to the usual table where Liz, Patty and Soul were sitting. Patty was balancing apple after apple in an unsteady tower. Soul was laughing at something Liz had said, his bowel already empty.

"Morning Maka," Liz looked up, smiling. Maka opened her mouth to thank the girl and apologise too but remembered Liz had thought she'd been asleep when she'd apologised.

"Morning Liz, Patty, Soul," Maka nodded at each of them. "And look Liz, sorry about last night." Even if Liz wasn't going to admit apologising, she was.

"Yeah me too," Liz agreed. "I should have come back last night but you seemed tired so I decided to wait until this morning. So did you sleep well?"

Maka didn't reply. All she could think about was that if it wasn't Liz who'd apologised to her earlier that morning, who was it?

Speaking of apologies, BlackStar had just sauntered up to the table and sat down next to Maka, flashing her a hopeful smile.

"You still haven't apologised BlackStar," Maka hissed so the others wouldn't hear. "So I'm not talking to you till then." She turned away to finally answer Liz's question and missed the look of hurt that flashed across the blue haired boy's face.

()

Maka ran through the empty halls, peering into rooms and listening for any sounds.

She'd had run off to change into sneakers before meeting up the others after realising she'd worn her ugg boots to breakfast and now she couldn't find anyone. Sure she'd taken a bit longer than she'd expected because she'd knocked her vase over and sent the flower rolling under the bed. But she'd only been held up for an extra two minutes or so.

So where was everybody?

The corridors were devoid of life, she couldn't hear anything. It was the silence she experienced at home; it was suffocating her, pulling her in. She was slipping, she was on the edge. One more wave and she'd be over, falling. This wasn't right. Soul had said she shouldn't be left alone or something like that.

"Hello?" She finally called, waiting for laughter to indicate a prank being pulled on her or a door to a sound proof room opening. Then again if it was sound proof, they wouldn't be able to hear her right? And why would there be a soundproof room anyway? Anger management therapy?

Maka walked past a window as she began to search again; automatically looking out of it as she did so. Her gaze caught on a flash of blue. There was BlackStar, running across the lawn with Patty in hot pursuit. She couldn't hear anything but both looked to be having fun. There were other people here and there, some she knew and others she didn't.

So that's where everyone was, they were outside! But they couldn't have forgotten about Maka…could they? Was it always going to be this way, getting forgotten and thrown aside when she wasn't interesting enough?

_Or course it's always going to be this way_

Stop it

_You just admitted it though_

Accidentally

_But you still thought it, it's your own mind deciding it_

Please, stop

_Why should I dear girl?_

I'm not your dear girl

_You're right. You're nobody's dear girl. Everyone hates you. They've gotten sick of you. Why should they like you? You're an extremely unlikeable person. Give up. Surrender!_

"Maka!" Marie was jogging towards her dressed in grey and orange tracksuit pants and a black hoodie. She looked exuberant yet slightly worried, her face sweaty and her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail. "I thought we lost you." The worry faded into relief as she said this.

"No," Maka said awkwardly, trying to keep her voice flat and normal. "I went to change into sneakers and you were all gone when I came back." Her tone was slightly accusing but Marie didn't seem to mind.

"You're group is playing hide and seek chasey down there, I figured you were already hiding until Liz said you hadn't come down."

So they had been worried about Maka, they hadn't purposely left her behind.

_But they still did_

Come on, give it a break. Can't you just understand it was an accident?

"Coming Maka?" Marie asked, already starting to walk to the end of the corridor. Maka stared after her for a moment before her lips tweaked up in a half smile and she began to jog to the end of the corridor.

The elevator ride down was quick but it seemed to last forever. That's because it was silent. Marie was tapping away on her phone and Maka had no choice but to stand there quietly and let the silence wash over her, much like before. It was slightly more bearable this time though. And when the elevator came to a stop, announcing the ground floor, Marie whipped the phone away and gave Maka a big smile.

"This is your first time outside so we have some rules." Marie said in a stern but complacent tone. "First of all, please don't climb the walls or fences, it is dangerous and forbidden. There is a main road out there plus…well I'm sure you can understand. Also try not to bother anyone else from any other floors who might be down here. You don't know why they're here and could be dangerous. We can't tell you what they have due to floor confidentiality. Try to keep as safe as possible, you can climb trees though we prefer you don't." Marie stopped talking as Maka let her attention wander over to her group, forming a large circle along with Kilik, Thunder, Fire, Harvard and Ox.

"Is that all?" Maka asked, noticing Marie's sudden silence.

"I think it's enough with you." Marie confirmed. "You seem like a very responsible girl Maka and I'm proud of you."

"Proud of me for what?" Maka asked but Marie was already walking away to talk to Sid and some other lady. Maka sighed in annoyance at the therapist's mysterious ways but she trudged over to her group. She was just in time to hear BlackStar complaining.

"Why does the third floor have to be down here too?" The blue haired boy was saying in an angry tone. "They get more sympathy because they're younger."

"I-it doesn't w-work like that BlackStar." Tsubaki stuttered, twisting her fingers together. "A-and they have j-just as much right to the g-garden as we do."

"Pfft whatever," BlackStar scowled though when he saw Maka, his face broke out into a crooked hopeful grin. Maka looked away, scowling and the smile fell, crumbling to pieces. The teen instantly felt bad and tried to flash him a small smile but he was already singing some stupid and rude song to choose who would be counting for hide and seek chasey.

"Ok Ox is it," BlackStar said finally after a tense final round of counting against the boy and Liz. "Ox you can go count by the doors over there," He gestured to the sliding doors that led back into the hospital. The bespectacled boy grumbled but wandered over there like he had all the time in the world. Patty grumbled at this and Liz and Soul laughed at her pout.

The moment Ox made it to the door and turned away from the large garden to begin counting, everyone began to scatter. Patty followed after Liz, the two inseparable as usual. BlackStar tore off towards a grove of trees, he was probably planning to climb one. He'd probably be unable to resist the urge to jump down on Ox and give away his hiding place but it was all just for fun. Thunder and Fire had already disappeared whilst Maka had been watching the others along with Kilik. Soul was approaching the group of talking therapists, three of which Maka didn't recognize (they were probably from the third floor) and Harvard was just wandering around staring at the sky.

Maka moved one way and then the next, not sure where to hide since she didn't know the garden very well. She hadn't been shown it on the tour like she'd expected. When she had been younger, she used to hide from her parents in the hopes that they'd notice she was missing and run around trying to find her. The first few times she tried this plan she hadn't been found and assumed that she was just really good at hiding. Now she knew better.

Her parents hadn't noticed she'd disappeared. They hadn't been worried, they hadn't cared. To them, it was a normal day full of worrying about themselves and ignoring their tiny daughter.

She'd stopped hiding after that.

Maka eventually settled on hiding in the middle of the small maze in the garden in the centre. She could run away if she saw Ox after all. It was hide and seek chasey and the boy didn't look very fast. Maka was confident she could outrun him.

When she found the middle however, she saw that it was already occupied by an extremely skinny boy with tangled dirty blonde hair. He looked to be about thirteen, he was obviously from the third floor, one of the kids BlackStar had complained about. He was unravelling bandages that were wrapped around his wrists absently, his eyes cast upward at the sky. He frowned when he saw Maka but then smiled eerily.

"You tried to fly didn't you." He stated. It wasn't a question. "So did I. It'll work one day." It was so matter of fact, so normal. "I'll fly away just like you tried. And I won't fail."

Maka suddenly felt sick as she saw the blood soaking through the boy's messy bandages. The world seemed to spin around her and she felt like throwing up. She turned to run but ran into one of the grassy hedges that made up a wall of the maze. She stumbled backwards, searching through hazy eyes for the way out.

"Fly," The boy muttered, not helping Maka's problem. "Fly away little girl."

This was crazy. Some suicidal thirteen year old was making her feel this way. This wasn't possible, this wasn't fair. She was trying so hard. He couldn't just bring everything back. Stop it! Stop him! Somebody stop him!

_Fly little girl_

Not you! Not now!

_I'm a part of you. I come when I want to, I never leave because I don't want to_

"Somebody help!" Maka heard herself screaming. "Somebody help me!" The world titled alarmingly and she reached out, trying to find something to steady herself on.

She found herself latching onto the boy's bloody wrists as he was suddenly right in front of her, the red liquid staining her palms and running down her wrists.

"Oh god," Maka got out before she fell to meet the ground and everything went black.

_The person lay on the floor in a puddle of blood. They were breathing…just. But if someone didn't come soon then their harsh and slow breaths would fade away and they would cease to be._

**Shortish chapter…I think. The boy isn't an OC, it's actually Tobias from Animorphs if anyone remembers that series. I grew up with it (thankyou amazing brother who got a book for his birthday which sparked the interest) and I've been re-reading the series and realizing how suicidal Tobias was. He's in the story for a reason so please don't hate on him…or me.**

**So yeah, review please?**


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